David Hasselhuff

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David "The Huff" Hasselhuff, searching the archives for crap articles, note the red crap detecting eyes, the powerful crown of envy and the tuxedo of life. A deadly combonation, you wouldn't want to run into him in an online chatroom, or worse a dark alley, unless you're horny.

David Hasselhuff (born god knows how long ago) is a successful writer and undisputed chief of articles at Uncyclopedia. He goes through all articles looking for crap and tags them with the VFD template. He also oversees the deletion process at Uncyclopedia making sure users with stupid sounding usernames that are fairly difficult to pronounce, possibly that way because of an inside joke between him and his chummy boys and he thought that they would laugh hysterically at it but when he shows it to them they just look at him weirdly thinking, "I'm friends with him!" so then he wets himself out of embarrassment so he runs home to change his pants only to find out to his horror that he's on the edge of a laundry cycle and has no clean pants so he stays home for the rest of the day sulking while watching... errr... soaps? What? I'm gonna go, I'll see you next heading, I gotta lie down.

Early life[edit]

The Huff grew up in mainly German domains. He was born with the red crap detecting eyes he is now famous for and learned at an early age to use them. Like many good suerheroes (like Chicken Man) he used his gift for good instead of evil (like Chuck Norris). Although he could, he refuses for the good of the nation, to pleasure women, as he believes that if women want intercourse so bad they can do it themselves, which many Fat Chicks have learned to do.

He eventually moved to US domains to start a career as a professional crap-detector, specialising in bullshit and sarcasm. However, after struggling to find work (apparently there's not a good market for crap detectors nowadays), he spent most of his twenties, unemployed. But one day when he was happily surfing the interweb, he stumbled across a website comparible to a lump of dog turd, called Uncyclopedia. Interested by its chunkyness, he applied for a job.

First Years at Uncyclopedia[edit]

The Huff became popular quickly around the office, as he was the only one who worked there that wasn't a computer geek, a pro gamer or mentally challenged. After climbing the social ladder, a year later, he was invited to the now infamous Christmas party credited for launching his career.

A month after the party, he was named executive in charge of spiffyness, a position once held by The Jee Man. Impressed with his efforts, the CEO of Uncyclopedia promoted The Huff to Cheif of Articles 14 months later.

Articles That The Huff think are crap[edit]

If any of these pages have been deleted, that means the The Huff is doing his job

People that The Huff Hates[edit]

See Also[edit]