David Lloyd George
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“Who? That bloke off the telly, the one with the pasta sauces? Hold on, I'm lost now, who are we talking about?”
~ Oscar Wilde on providing a brief insight into his views on Mr Lloyd George
David Lloyd "Webber-Boy" George, affectionately known as the Welsh Wizzard [1], was Prime Minister of Fantastic Britain in the early 20th and 23rd centuries, the latter of his administrations taking place after his re-animation in the year 2222. Amongst his greatest achievements were his 100m front-crawl certificate, and, in 1912 aboard the Titanic, his world famous ability to summon enormous pieces of ice, which earned him a place in the record books, albeit at the cost of almost 1500 lives, allegedly. It did however set the scene for the invention of ice cream. Nowadays he is most famous for being the lead-singer of the 1980's band Culture Club. His most famous hit with the band was 'Karma Chameleon' which spent six weeks at #1 in the UK charts and was the biggest-selling single of 1984.
[edit] Postface
The first administration of Lloyd George was a time of great prosperity across the British Isles. Unfortunatly, it was also a period of complete chaos in Britain's neighbouring island, the confusingly-named Ireland. As the Black and Tan continued on their murderous quest across the land in search of Guinness, in a manner not too disimmilar to that of the Vikings, Lloyd George knew he had to take action. As such, after taking a week off from his busy schedule of selling honours, he led a charge of brave war veterans into the barbaric and backwards isle.
The charge was a resounding success, and Lloyd George was hailed across the globe as the saviour of the free world. Several thousands statues of him were planned to be erected nation-wide, but upon further consideration, one gargantuan statue was instead constucted, which still stands today. Its whereabouts has since been forgotten over the eons of time, but do not despair! An expedition led by the former Liberal Democrat leader Charles Kennedy has recently announced promising findings from its ongoing search.
[edit] Death, Re-animation, Death
David Llloyd George went on to live to the ripe old age of 84. This event made headlines across the world, and his death at an even riper age of 92 made even more and larger headlines, two years later when his body was actually discovered. So large were some of the headlines that they had to be printed over several days' issues. Nevertheless, his death remains a mystery, and as such there is no point in dwelling on the matter.
However, two centuries later, in celebration of the death of The Right Honourable Tony Blair - who had spent billions of Great British Pounds on life extension therapy and, like his distant predecessor, had lived - and ruled - to a ripe old age - gangs of joyous historians took to the streets with burning pitchforks, and dragged up the corpse of Lloyd George, which eye-witnesses claim was in remarkable condition. The body was taken to the Natural History Museum, where it was re-animated via a complicated process involving, amongst other things, a subtle blend of novelty onions and Paxo. Following his re-animation, he led the British Civil war, leading to his re-insertion as Prime Minister of the British Empire. His reign was one of the greatest eras of British history, and upon his second death, his body, badly mangled by the ferocious explosions, lions, chainsaws and large rocks involved in his untimely passing, was reduced to dust, and is now sold world-wide as a fertiliser. It is hoped that over many thousands of years, his DNA may mix with that of plants, to produce a race of super-plants, capable of once again ruling all of Britain. Others argue that this idea is far fetched and frankly, utterly ridiculous. "He is one of the ugliest pieces of shit i've ever seen" said Barney reporting in on Tuesday afternoon.
In between his death and resurrection, he enjoyed a successful acting career under the name Windsor Davies, he did.
