David Mamet

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Do you think that this is David Mamet? Why? Because it is an image on a web page titled "David Mamet"? It is an image of a man on a web page titled "David Mamet", but the man is not David Mamet.

Hello. Hello. Excuse me.

Excuse me.

What do you want? ... It is that you want to know about David Mamet?... Is that what you want?

OK. ...? I will tell you. I will tell you what you want to know. I will tell you.


David Mamet was an internationally famous dealer in live crocodiles. Rumours of shady dealings surrounded him, but nothing was ever proved. He died in Florida after eating a poorly-prepared kiwifruit in September 2005.

Does that answer your question?

What did I just tell you? (Pause)What did I just tell you before I said "does that answer your question"?


I told you that nothing was ever proved...(Pause) ... Did I tell you that? I did tell you that. Nothing was ever proved. (Pause) I rest my case.

What evidence do we really have that any of this story is true? (rapes a bitch) What kind of proof? I will tell you. None! I just told you that.

Why are you asking me about David Mamet? (Pause) Why are you asking me about David Mamet? Why are are you asking me about David Mamet?

Is it that you (Pause)are an essentially trusting person? (The phone rings) Do ...you see me as trustworthy? Do you have an urgent need to trust people? Would you like to make love with me?

OK. Since you trust me, ...(Pause)now I will tell you the truth. (To phone) Hello...? (To YOU)The truth is what I will tell you.

David Mamet is a footsoldier of the Curie crime family. He is currently in prison for 20 years for tax fraud. He is 5 ft 8 in height, has never been in Libya, and does not know Philip Glass. David Mamet came from the direction of Libya, but he has never been in Libya.

Does that satisfy you? Does that prove what you have been saying? (To phone) I DON'T WANT ANOTHER FUCKIN CREDIT CARD! (To CAMERA) ...?

I hope it does. I hope it does. You are in a lot of trouble.

You are in a lot of trouble.

It just goes to show. It just goes to show. What? What does it just go to show?

That nothing was ever proved.

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This article is funny because it is written in the real or imagined writing style of its subject. If you do not find it funny, it is probably because you are an ignorant cultural philistine who does not recognise this without explanation. If you still do not find the article funny, that is probably because a joke loses its humor when it is explained. If you hadn't been so ignorant, then you wouldn't have needed to have the joke explained to you in the first place.