Davina McCall

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“would I? Certainly I love pregnacy sex! ”

~ Oscar Wilde on Davina McCall
Spare a thought for poor Davina this is what she wakes up to every day.

Early Career[edit]

Davina started presenting when she was three years old due to pressure from her parents who needed support for the constant pregnancies they undertook. Davina got a lucky break as a fluffer for motorbike racers such as Lewis Hamilton long before she turned to race hate programs.

Street mate Launched Davina to the masses men couldn’t say no to a pregnant women little did they know she was just setting them up with some other desperate victim. This was followed by street mate USA, unfortunately a flop as American’s couldn’t understand what 'the obese woman' was saying.

After a long line of failed and highly unsuccessful failed TV shows, the BBC decided they needed someone to kill off the chat show for good and when Terry Wogan refused to return Davina was first choice. She successfully killed the chat show after appaling ratings. Many blame guest spots such as Mcfly, but the fifty people who actually watched it realised it was due to Davina's skills at bad presenting.

Main and Only Successful Job[edit]

Big Brother was a huge success for Davina. The show topped 1 billion viewers when it switched to a racist themed TV program in 2007. Jade 'Pig Mouth' Goody and Emily 'the honkey indie hating racist' have made massive spreads for the sun newspaper (usually on page 3). They both put their success down to their bigoted upbringing and the teaching of fundamental Christianity - intelligent design in schools as backed by our president [Tony Blair].

Davina has unfortunately developed a deformity as part of her presenting on Big Brother, she suffers from Extreme Pregnancy Alert, which means effectively every year she has to work (ie every summer Big Brothers on TV) she has a massive pregnancy (despite the fact she's still a virgin). It's rumoured she is an incubator for the aliens off the V series this is as of yet unconfirmed. She is also rumoured to have evolved and may yet take part in the second series of Heroes.

This is what Davina looks like when shes not Pregnant.

See Also[edit]