Days Of Our Lives

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Like shit through a strainer, so are the days of our lives

Days Of Our Lives was, is and always will be a monotonous soap opera which focuses on the desperate lives of ordinary people in ordinary situations. That is of course if you consider the marriage of your daughter's ex husband who had a child with your grandmother and her sister before getting divorced and then married to your other daughter, but deciding otherwise and remarrying your other daughter, before having an affair with you, causing your daughter to despise you for a very long time after finding out by coincidentally walking in on you before driving off and having a car accident and then dying leaving you pregnant with her widower (your ex husband's) child, but then finding out that your daughter is not really dead but was instead kidnapped by an old man who sold her into slavery before she successfully escaped to find her way back home ten years later and in the arms of your new husband, ordinary.


Set of Sell-em where all the action takes place.

When first formed in 1965 the story behind Days of our lives revolved around waitresses and mechanics from a small town called Sell-em. In the first few months, the show introduced the usual threads of love, marriage, children, bickering, alcoholism, cheating and then ultimately divorce which all took place within a small trailer park. Most of the filming was done inside the actual trailers and viewers hardly ever got a glimpse of the outside, which was mostly as a result of slow technological advancements in camera and lighting equipment, which would make the filming of the cast's dramatic, expressions when staring into the distance after every scene very difficult at the time.

As the show progressed and increased in popularity, new locations were introduced, such as the restaurants where the women worked serving food to customers and enjoyed whispered moments of kitchen gossip in-between, while the men remained at their garages where they fixed cars and made sexual derogatory statements about females and spoke about hunting.

Bo Brady, obsessin bout huntin

Critics originally praised the show for its complete lack of nostalgia mostly because the characters were portrayed as those who, as quoted by one of the leading roles, "really don't give a shit" and its portrayal of those American families who are usually heard of but never really seen or spoken of. By the 1970s, critics deemed Days to be the most daring daytime drama, leading the way in using themes other shows of the period would not dare touch, such as prostitution, abortion and bestiality.

In the 1990s, the show branched out into supernatural storylines, involving witchcraft, alien abductions, brainwashing and even reincarnations which lead to the constant death and constant revival of lead characters who would die, come back as each other, die again, come back as themselves and then believe that they were someone else before falling in love with each other's wives and making them pregnant. As technology finally caught up with television, viewers were able to experience scenes located outside of the actual trailers for the first time since the show's premiere.

Days of our lives continues to air every day across the world at different times and continues to introduce new story lines surrounding the families of the trailer town of Sell-em (A name derived from scrap yard sales as an alternative income for the families who run out of money as a result of spending most of it on alcohol and cigarettes.)


Laura Whoreton in her younger days after baking a cake for her and her brother's son, Michael.

When Days of our Lives premiered in 1965, the show revolved around the tragedies and triumphs of the suburban Whoreton family. Over time, additional families were brought to the show to interact with the Whoretons and assisted in the evolution of more dramatic storylines. Originally led by patriarch Tom Whoreton and his wife, homemaker Alice, the Whoretons remain a prominent fixture in current continuity.

One of the longest-running storylines involved the rape of Mickey Whoreton's wife Laura by her own brother Bill. Laura confides in her father Tam Thomson, which leads to yet another rape by her father this time who got turned on by her story instead of feeling sympathetic about her tragic situation. She decides to keep the family rapes a secret from her husband Mickey, but later discovers that she is pregnant with one of their children. She decides to keep the baby and name him Michael who is later born with down syndrome. The story revolving around the rape product child spanned episodes from 1968 to 1975. The storyline was the first to bring the show to prominence, and put it near the top of the Nielsen daytime ratings. Another love triangle then developed between the unemployed Doug Fugg, Tom and Alice's daughter Addie, Addie's own daughter, Julie, Julie's brother Tim and finally Tim's daughter Agatha which proved to be very popular around the same time. The storyline culminated in the death of Addie in 1974 and the three-way marriage of Tim Julie and Doug in 1976.

In the 1980s, the Brady and DiMera families were introduced, and not long after their introduction, a rivalry broke out after an argument between Bo Brady and Tony DiMera over penis size. Around the same time, action/adventure storylines involving running, jumping theorizing, hiding, being captured, escaping and running some more reinvigorated the show after previously focusing primarily on the domestic troubles of the Whoretons.

Marlena Evans when she was still with the real Roman Brady

In recent times ratings have fallen dramatically after the show took a psychopathical turn when cheesy serial killers were introduced. Such as the Sell-em stalker who would kill just about the whole cast before revealing that everyone was not actually dead, but instead kidnapped and taken to an exact replica of the trailer town by the name of Me-lles (Sell-em spelled backwards) despite scenes in which bloody acts of violence took place. After the killer was revealed to be Tony, who had died many years prior to his coincidental return after being part of an ongoing plot involving a wife who happened to look identical to two other women within the same town, but had absolutely no relation to them whatsoever, producers decided that after 44 years of running the same show and trying to adhere to a decent storyline, they had completely run out of material and would have to bring back re-enactments of the past in order to save the popularity that the show once sported in its golden years. The feud between the Brady's and the DiMeras once again became the highlight of the show and male chauvinism returned to the screen to entertain once more. Whether this new regime will be successful or not is currently unknown, but Days of our lives' expected time of death is 2010 (5 years earlier than was originally predicted).

Prominent characters[edit]

Sami Brady on one of her wedding days.

Tom Whoreton - Father of Mickey Whoreton and partial husband to Laura Whoreton. Tom led the show in its very early years as the head of the trash heap and assisted in the birth of a string of various children from various women who would carry the storyline through its 44 years on air. His character was portrayed as arrogant and rude until his second official death involving a truck's engine falling on his head in an attempt to steal it from underneath the truck.

Alice Whoreton - Loud and bitchy wife to Tom Whoreton. Her character was always seen yelling at Tom about money, kids and how worthless Tom was. Her decision to go into prostitution later shut her up quite a bit when it finally gave her something to hide from her husband who was always hiding things from her. Her character's life ended after falling off a ladder while adjusting an aerial on the roof.

Tam Thomson - Father and rapist of Laura Whoreton. King of chauvinistic remarks and owner of the backyard mechanic business; Tam was mostly seen drinking beer and sitting on his arse. He spoke allot about his intentions to have sexual intercourse with just about every woman or thing that he saw. He was also the father and grandfather of Michael Whoreton.

Mickey Whoreton - Husband to Laura Whoreton, is an unemployed alcoholic who followed perfectly in his father's footsteps. Failed to pay the rent on numerous occasions and eventually left the scene after being evicted. Returned a few years later, got evicted again and then died from liver disease.

Bo Brady - Husband to Hope Brady. Mostly spoke obsessively about hunting deer and made trophies out of their horns which he hung in his trailer. He appeared later in the show when the feud between the Brady's and the DiMeras first started and continues to frequently hunt alongside his wife.

Sami Brady later that day.

Hope Brady - Was once buried alive in a portable toilet by a jealous woman and survived miraculously thus introducing the supernatural theme to the show. Continues to hunt deer alongside her husband Bo.

Sami Brady - Conniving, and whiney daughter of demonic medium, Marlena Evans and Roman Brady (Or is it John?). Sami is constantly seen in a wedding dress almost marrying either one of five men; Lucas Williams, Austin Reed, Brandon Walker, E.J Wells or Franco Kelly. She has never succeeded in actually being married because of her constant misfortune of getting busted for something she did in her past, such as having an illegitimate child with a small-time rapper before giving the child up for adoption.

John Black - After an accidental overdose on LSD, John Black the husband of Marlena, loses his memory and develops multiple personality disorder and believes that he is Roman (Sami Brady's father), who does not even remotely look like him. However he manages to convince Marlena that he is Roman and has ever since been either brainwashed or had amnesia among numerous other mental disorders.

Tony DiMera - Son of Steffano DiMera, always murdering and kidnapping people for the fun of it just like his chess-playing father. Tony is so surprisingly powerful for a school janitor that he managed to create a whole replica of the Sell-em town without anyone being able to spot the differences between the real town and the fake one. He previously Committed suicide just to spite his rivals and then later returned as the Sell-em stalker.

Kate Robhurts - The biggest whore in the whole of Sell-em despite not being a Whoreton. She was originally seen in the series married to an abusive husband named Curtis Drown who constantly liked to make her and his two children his sex slaves by raping her while she was drunk and his children just for the fun of it. Needing to survive and support her children Boston and Silly Reed, she became Steffano DiMera's toy enabling her to become everyone's sex slave for a living. After quitting her job with Steffano and being diagnosed with several STDs she became a powerful bussinesswoman. She has gotten married a total of 10 times with 6 different men, had an affair with 15 other men (several while she was married to someone else) and has a total of 12 different children, 10 of which all have a different father. She also happens to be the youngest grandmother in the whole of Sell-em.

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