Days of yore
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Much exhaustive research has been done on the subject of Days of Yore. It is hard to make conclusions because but here are some anyway:
[edit] Life was short, bitter and unpleasant
You'd find it unpleasant too if you had to speak a language with 50 words for snowball. Things have gotten a lot better since the days when people were savages living in caves.
[edit] People had to work hard
And they enjoyed, not like this rotten bunch who are never happy, even with all the contraptions they have.
[edit] People had to make do without all the contraptions they have now
In the olden days, people had to have a wind up telly, not these automatic ones whippersnappers have. They're just so lazy. Nowadays, we have such useful inventions as trains and iron pots without which the human race would have died out.
[edit] During the war you could leave your door unlocked
Presumably because the government lacked compulsory ID cards, biometric passports, the Patriot act, CCTV, Control Orders and paranoia, the evil right wing cabal needed another way to invade your privacy and remove your human rights.
[edit] During the Blitz everyone pulled together
You would have thought this would create a slip hazard?
[edit] Villains "Only killed their own" and were thus good
“He nailed my head to the coffee table, but I deserved it.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Just Deserts
[edit] Fags and Beer* were good for you
* WIne for the ladies. And were available on prescription from the NHS.
[edit] Americans are over-paid, over-sexed and over-here
“And Late, the war started in 1939.....”
~ Oscar Wilde on Days of yore
[edit] Pounds, shillings and pence made so much more sense than decimal money
four farthings made a penny (1d); twelve pence made a shilling (1s or 1/-) or 'bob'; five shillings made a crown, although there was no such thing except on special occasions, such as to mark the Queen's Coronation in 1953, the death of Sir Winston Churchill in 1965 and for no apparent reason in 1960; you could have spent a half crown - that's 2/6 (two shillings and six pence); 20 shillings made a pound, and 21 made a guinea. What’s difficult about that?
[edit] At least Mussolini made the trains run on time
And that Mr. Hitler seemed like such a nice man.
[edit] Police should give hooligans a clip round the ear
As police brutality and corruption are good things and an 'eye for an eye' solves all problems. Better yet, bring back the stocks. Discipline went out the window when tastes of the birch were banned in schools. Also, smacking is necessary to show kids what's right and wrong. Their parents are obviously not doing that now. In my day, people knew how to behave, not like the young uns these days. Related to this, it is agreed that truncheons do make people more manly. One informer even said "I do love a man in uniform.".
[edit] Men were men and women were women
Men went out to shoot and bring home the bacon and women were in the kitchen cooking and giving birth like they should be.
[edit] Politicians were trustworthy
See John Profumo/Richard Nixon (delete as appropriate)
[edit] All "This"* was nowt but fields
* Being defined as any built up area, preferably with buildings at least as old the Church of England.
[edit] Wogs start at Calais
Worst of all, they're coming over here, buying our memorabilia! As if they don't have any of their own without taking ours.
[edit] People knew the value of a dollar, by God
Although they never saw many of them, forced to slave in the company mines and buy their food and water from the company store with "chits." They just throw money away these days on useless things such as video games and condoms.
[edit] See also
They may even work in Local government or, worse, be an unelected eurocrat. For information on the best way to save our great nation from scum like this read the Daily Mail. (Pstt. He's probably also a commie as well; quick - tell HUAC!)
