Death in the family

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Suitable outfit for a family funeral

Death in the family is a euphemism for going postal and blowing away a few relatives. It is a polite term most often used by the European Royalty.

There are numerous customs that have evolved around the death of a relative. It is customary to first check the pockets, then the wallet, or purse, and move on to a safe or bank account.

After any valuables have been secured, funeral arrangements need to be made. Economy must always be paramount, and anything other than a pine box is considered frivilous.

Suitable attire and behaviour at a family member's funeral[edit]

  • Do not dig through the pockets of a person in an open casket and exclaim 'He's not going til I get that $20 he owes me'.
  • Do wear something subdued and subtle, such as a black cape, black underpants, and black thigh length boots.
  • Do not attempt to jump into an open casket and say 'One more ride for old time's sake' at your aunt's funeral.
  • Do respect the wishes of a relative's will, and use the money as intended, eg. helping small animals to be happy. Strippers do class as small animals in the state of Nevada.
  • Do touch them where you want to.

See Also[edit]

Type O Negative