Some people call Deborah Harry 'Blondie' as that is the color of her hair. She was the front singer of a band called 'Angel Blondie & The Snakes'. One of the snake's being the one that tempted Eve in paradise to eat from the forbidden tree. Being tired of fulfilling Satan's filthy jobs he decided to 'break free' like Queen. He then picked up his guitar to blast away the clouds but somebody in the rest room yelled he had to turn the damn thing down. So after that he decided that he wanted to start a band. Being the deceiver of women that he is (the first one to be Eve), he met Deborah Harry in a local bar. Debbie was a waitress there at the time and the snake offered her to be a front singer of his band. Debbie liked the idea so they quickly agreed.
The Beginning Years
After Debbie agreed the snake went off to find other snakes to play the bass guitar, the drums and the keyboards. Their first album came out in 1750 and was called 'Angel Blondie & The Snakes' after the bands name. The album contained the hits 'Debbie Is A Sex Offender', 'I Want Debbie In The Flesh' and 'Rip Eve To Shreds', the last song being a dedication to the Eve in paradise.
After there first album the follow up was a poor miss. Debbie was clearly poisoned by one of the snakes during this period and her singing sounded awful. It was like the sound of a woman crawling to death. She got resurrected however by the original snake of paradise a few months later. The only good song of this album was 'Kidnap Satan' which was sung by the Snakes and not by Debbie.
The Eve Years
After Debbie got resurrected by the snake through mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, they began releasing albums again. The first to come in line was a big success after which they had a string of terrible albums. The planitum gold one was 'Eve On The Lines' which is an album full of songs about Eve. Hit singles included 'Tiger Girl', 'Hangin' On In On The Bathtub in Paradise', 'Heart Of Snake Poison' and 'Picture My Tongue'. After that the album 'Zoo CowFat potatoes'and 'Hellish Gigolo' were released and all the albums were about Eve as well. The public had gone bored and the singing of Debbie was terrible on these releases. She sounded like a pis poor cat. The last album of the group was released in 1934.
The Solo Years
Tired of the snakes and the critics Debbie then went on to pursue a solo career in 1980. The Snake got very angry she left his band and totured her in her sleep. She received the worst nightmares about bats eating her alive and about eating from the forbidden tree. This did not make her give up but instead she found herself a new manager, Andy Brook, who helped her forming a new band. He also helped Debbie destroy the snake by throwing milk on him, he then burned away as if it was fire. It didn't went that easy as it took 2 hours for the snake to burn away!!
After that Debbie and Andy released a big hit album called 'Eat Up All Snakes'. The song 'Dreaming of Being With You' is said to be a love song of Debbie for Andy. There were rumours that they had a love affair for a few years but no one can substantiate it. Although rumours has it that the boy genius Quinn Mallory is there son.
The Acting Years
Being bored with making music Debbie then became an actress and starred in the movie 'Videotrone' of David Cronenberg. She got an Oscar reward for her undressed scene's in this movie. To this day she still acts in a lot of films the last one being 'A History of Snakes' again of Cronenberg. In between she also worked with a lot of other directors.
Then, at last, addictions and other problems behind her, Deborah Harry left the music business behind and married - uhm, me. 'Cause let's face it, dudes, she's effing hot. Yo Mama is there too. But not Yo Papa 'cause she's not into that kinda thing.
Hey, I can dream.
[Roll end credits - cue up "Behind the Music with Fleetwood Mac"]
Churn 'em and burn 'em, guys, gotta sell them Chevies! Lincolns too.
Also, she should call me. Because I have designer sheets and wine and I know what "chiamami" means. Yeah, okay, I don't but I can always look it up on Yahoo Babel Translator! And I suppose I could pick up a color chart at Wal Mart or something...
- Angel Blondie & The Snakes (1750)
- Plastic Snakes (1751)
- Eve On The Lines (1850)
- Zoo Cow (1882)
- Fat Potatoes (1924)
- Hellish Gigolo (1934)
- Eat Up All Snakes (1980)
- The Strunter (1981)
- Snakes and Ladders (duet album with the cast of Monty Python) (1983)
- Rockbees (1985)
- One More Time Into Andy (1986)
- Death, Smart & Pale (1987)
- Debbienation (1990)
- No Inside (1999)
- The Curse Of The Snake (2000)
- After The Snake (2001)
- Videotrone (2002)
- Tales of The Brighside (2003)
- Mrs. Debbie (2004)
- The Rules Of The Snake (2004)
- Dead Bats (2005)
- Intimate Inmates (2010)
- A History of Snakes (2011)
- Debbie Does Dallas (2012)
http://images.art.com/images/PRODUCTS/large/10103000/10103335.jpg Deborah Harry giving me the time of day