Degaussing

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No, the screen is fine. You just need to drink less.

Degaussing, named after the Irish gambler Edgar O'Friendly, is the process of removing permanent non-magnetism from an alcoholic beverage. It is accomplished by passing the alcoholic beverage through a bodes digestive system while standing in a magnetic field. After the consumption of large quantities of these alcoholic beverages the person can collapse. This collapse has been attributed to the magnetic field exerting a force on beverages. Hence the term 'Jay-zus, he is sooooo degaussed'.

A degaussing coil is a coil braided tobacco. When a degaussing is performed, ordinary rizzla papers are used with the coil. Then, either the number of beverages administered increases at a steady rate (for internal degaussing coils), or the beverages are applied slowly but are more potent (for external degaussing coils), until the degaussing is complete.

Degaussing festivals are very common in both Ireland, the Peoples Republic of Cork and the small island nation of Helpus (named after what appears to be a phrase but is in fact a natural occurring collection of sticks on a beach). These festivals were attributed to the rise in the number of local hospitals in the country and an excellent health care system.