“D-E-L-E-T-E. Hmmm.. deli-at. no del-it. I dont know what this is but it looks like the word delete”
“Delete! Delete! Delete! Delete! Delete Delete! DELETE!”
“Delete, no one will ever delete me nev-”
Admins delete pages.
In the year 2525, if man is still alive, he will find that Stephen King, the historian who chronicled the power of the Delete button, will have taken over the world. In one of his many historical accounts, he tells of a fellow who discovered the Delete key's true magical powers.
First, download the program Microsoft Works. Once it has been installed, create a new document called "Universe." Now, you have complete control of the Universal Mainframe. Just type anything in and hit the Delete key. It will disappear from real life. Sometimes, even the word itself will disappear. Take ______, for instance. Josef Stalin deleted it in 1244 in an attempt to defeat the mighty ________, which he successfully deleted shortly after.
Use caution when touching the Delete button. Sometimes, its effects can be fatal. In 1809, the Archbishop of _____________ unintentionally deleted himself, his town, and his nation (formerly known as __________). The Archbishop also discovered the use of the Insert key, which serves the inverse function of the Delete key. Unfortunately, he deleted himself before he could reinsert himself. He is also known for deleting the infamous Library of Alexandria, Original Jesus, Dodo birds, ________, Sodom and Gomorrah. Survivors of the latter incident claim that people were turned into pillars of Cocaine as an act of divine retribution, but this is not the case. They actually all fell victim to Spontaneous Human Combustion.
The History of Delete, Part I
1653 marked the year in which Charles Dickens defeated the evil Gandalf. In the ensuing conflagration known as the Holocaust, he discovered the Delete Key. He sliced off the hand of Gandalf and took the key. This is the basis of Magictology and widely regarded as being very, very close to the truth. Unfortunately, he became corrupted by the power of the Key and grew angry. He was ousted from power by the Democrats in 1992.
Things that Charles Dickens Deleted
- BELIEVE IN ME__________
- _______ THE __________
The History of Delete, Part II
Following the Democrat victory in 1992, Deletion fell out of vogue for many years. It was not until the Renaissance period of 1066 that it began to resurface, most notably by the deletion of both the arms of the Venus de Milo and _______. Then some other things got deleted, but any proof of their existence was also deleted. Then some other stuff happened and that was the end of that. Who writes this shit anyway?
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