Demerol

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Demerol is a trans-solar planet in the Narcoticus System. It has the approximate mass of Venus, and an atmosphere that is made up of phosphorus, stearic acid, dibasic calcium, liquid glucose, purified water, benzoic acid, oxygen, nitrogen, and calcium sulfate. The atmosphere's balance is so balanced that the air tastes faintly of banana, although at the extremes and the poles, the air tastes slightly bitter, yet it is breathable.

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[edit] Landscape of Demerol

Demerol is mainly a pleasant, rolling continent, flanked by two oceans. The two oceans, the Musa Ocean and the Acuminata Ocean, surround the continent, which the locals call Meperidine. The continent of Meperidine has a gently rolling and sunny interior, frigid poles, and very hot coasts, especially the coasts surrounding the Acuminata Ocean. The beaches along the Musa Ocean are less hot, due to strange convection currents underneath caused by agitated volcanoes.

Demerol, unlike its sister planets such as Xanax has no centralized tourism organization. Seeing their need, the Xanax Combobulation of Tourism published a complementary tour guide for tourists interested in the other planets in the Narcoticus System. Soon after, the XCT published guides for the planets of Ephedra and Thebaine, as their business began to boom after tourism in Demerol exploded.

Along with Xanax, Demerol has glacial deposits. While Xanax's is composed of pure glucose, Demerolian glaciers are composed of 60% glucose, 20% calcium, 10% sucrose, and 10% frozen water (ice). These glaciers have grossly carved morose "glacial" lakes, as they slug across the land. The Demos Tribe, a polar sect of people supposedly descended from Chuck Norris, believes that if one bathes in these glucose & sucrose sugar lakes, then one will be purified and be able to be in tune and listen to the rhythm of the planet. In 1978, however, the Demos were eradicated in an attempt to purge the planet of possible hippy insurgents.

[edit] Demerolian Climate

Demerol's climate is very mild. Occasionally, banana clouds from the Musa Ocean come and savagely deposit their load of banana-flavored rain on the Meperidine mainland. This rain should not be mistaken for the sulfuric sucrose acid rain, which also faintly smells of banana and shares the same common color of yellow.

Every 17 years, cicada attempts to come up from underground. However, cicadas are deathly allergic to the benzoic acid in the air, and therefore melt into a hideously strange-looking red liquid, which then gathers around copper deposits. This phenomenon faintly resembles the process that happens on Xanax, where orange liquid oozes from the ground. However, since Xanax lacks cicadas in its environment, this explanation is impossible.

[edit] Demerolian Culture

Demerolians share 1 common religion, EHtheism. This is due to the large number of atheist Canadians on Demerol. It is even thought that the first inhabitants of Demerol might have been from Quebec.

EHtheists are no different from atheists, except for a few things. EHtheists worship a deity, who is not a diety and does not exist. Therefore, at the end of each prayer to their existing non-existent god, they shout the word "EH!" instead of the typical "AMEN, MY SOUL SISTA!". EHtheism is a confusing religion, mainly because of the number of paradoxes present. The main one being that they worship a god; however, they don't recognize it as a god, therefore they spell it backwards; this gives them their deity: Dog. They all worship Dog. BEcause Dog is not God, it is okay for them to worhsip Dog. Dog isn't God, so therefore Dog becomes their God. COnfusing, I know. Their scripture is the Elbib, which is simply the Bible backwards. It starts with the Book of Noitalever and ends with the Book of Siseneg.

Demerolians also revere the banana; to them it is a holy fruit. They only eat it on special occasions.

There is no centralized government on Demerol; they are ruled by an anarchy. Their current leader is the Anarch George W. Bush.

[edit] Demerolian Relations with its Sister Planets

Demerol is very aggressive to its sister planets. It was very reluctant to have a Tourism Guide published about them, even though it brought them a profit exceeding 500,000 Canadian dollars. It has waged war with Xanax once, it being defeated in the end.

Demerol has also waged war with the inhabitants of Ephedra, Thebaine, and Yaz, all of these war endeavors ending in their defeat. However, their war efforts, now led by George W. Bush, continue on, even if it means another costly failure, even if it isn't in the Middle East.

However, their biggest win was when they finally destroyed the planet Ephedra. By building a gigantic tractor beam, they moved the planet Yaz out of its orbit temporarily to the opposite side of the sun Narcus. WHen Narcus let out its heat flash, it blasted Ephedra to smithereens. However, a small group of survivors lived, in which they colonized Earth, forming the first city on Earth, Pittsburg.

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