Demoscene
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The demoscene is an international underground subculture and religious movement consisting of a global conspiracy of ninjas fighting for world domination. The demoscene movement was originally started by a terrorist gang named Future Crew and is based on the teachings of L. Rob Hubbard.
The purpose of the demoscene is to create animated donuts using computers and other household appliances. These so-called demoscene donuts are commonly called donuëts in the secret Pouët.net ritual language which must be learned by every demoscener. The first donuëts were often shaped like cubes and colorful bars, but as technology progressed, it became possible to actually create donut-looking donuëts which bounce back and forth following the beat of a cheesy eurotrash pop song.
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[edit] Beliefs
The ultimate goal of every individual demoscener is to become a God. According to the doctrine of the demoscene, this status can be attained by creating a so-called Ultimate Donuët that makes every previously made donuët obsolete.
Learning to create superior donuëts is a life-long process which involves participation in secret cult gatherings, called demoparties, arranged at various powerful monuments and crop circles all around the world. At these events, believers join together in a deep state of trance in which divine cosmic powers are channeled into their bodies.
The holy scripture of the demoscene is the Freax. According to the Freax, a total of 65536 gods are required to attain a sufficient power for true world domination. According to the prophetic visions of L. Rob Hubbard, the number of gods will reach 65536 in the year 4096.
Powers of two, such as 64, 256, 4096 and 65536 are considered sacred numbers on the demoscene. Some of the so-called "PC demosceners" also used to worship the number 640 before getting eliminated as heretics.
[edit] Groups
In order to become gods, demosceners must be members of so-called demogroups. Each demogroup consists of 256 members - that is, one coder, one musician, one graphician and 253 hang-around members. A simple calculation yields that world domination requires a total of 256 demogroups.
[edit] Gods
The members of these megamighty demogroups are known to have already attained the status of God:
- Future Crew
- Future Dimensions
- Byterapers (formerly known as Future Byterapers)
- Accession (formerly known as Future Accession)
- MFX (formerly known as Future MFX)
- PWP (formerly known as Future PWP)
- ISO (formerly known as Future ISO)
- Future Melon (formerly known as Future Future Melon)
- The Gods (formerly known as The Future Gods)
- JUMALAUTA (formerly known as Salmiakkikossu[a ka salmiacvodka])
According to demoscene theology, these so-called ELiTE groups form the Trinity, which is the ultimate demogroup which has dominated the scene for millions of years.
It is also rumored that Fairlight and Farbrausch are ELiTE groups, however critics regard this as a misconception based on the fact that their names begin with an F.
[edit] Deaths
Demoscene has died several times but it has always been resurrected by the immortal ELiTE groups. These are the most notable deaths:
- In 1963, Lee Harvey Oswald killed the demoscene.
- In 1988, BBSes killed the demoscene.
- In 1990, Amiga killed the demoscene.
- In 1993, Future Crew killed the demoscene.
- In 1995, Windows 95 killed the demoscene.
- In 1997, Internet killed the demoscene.
- In 2000, the Y2K bug killed the demoscene.
- In 2001, Osama bin Laden killed the demoscene.
- In 2002, George W. Bush killed the demoscene.
- In 2004, .kkrieger killed the demoscene.
- In 2006, Machinima killed the demoscene.
- In 2007, Lorents of Nazareth killed the demoscene.
The purpose of these deaths is to cleanse the demoscene of the so-called lamers who are unable to attain a sufficient level of immortality.
