Derren Brown

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“Hi, I'm the uh, wallet inspector.”

~ Derren Brown on stealing wallets

Derren Brown (not to be confused with Darren Blaine) is an English psychological illusionist, crook, and mind-hacker. His existence, as it is, is a huge conspiracy, debated by philosophers and conspiracy theorists and losers with nothing better to do alike. One theory is that he is actually a pigeon.

Another states that he is merely a companion to all pigeons. Infact, there are hundreds upon hundreds of pigeon related theories regarding his existance. A popoular non pigeon-related theory states that Derren Brown is just another one of his own illusions, designed to trick us into believing he exists when he actually doesn't. I thought this was common public knowledge, but no. Although this theory does call in to question who created the illusion of Derren, if Derren is just an illusion. Which raises all sorts of by-proxy parallels with the very nature of existence. Which in it's own special way brings us back to pigeons. But enough about Derren.

Contents 1 Derren Brown, fictional character? 2 Illusions 2.1 His Own Existence (may contain embedded commands) 2.2 Suicide & Resurrection 2.3 Messiah 3 Trivia 4 See Also

[edit] Derren Brown, fictional character?

It is a popular misconception that Derren Brown is a fictional character invented by Peter Parker. WTF? This stops now, and I mean now. Peter Parker can be accused of creating such horrors as Mickey Mouse, Ozzy Osbourne, and Banana. But he did not create Derren Brown! Rather, Derren would like you to believe this; the idea is one of his cunning psychological illusions. Derren has claimed that Peter Parker is in fact a fictional character himself (he calls himself Spiderman). However, people have grown wise to him and don't listen, suspecting it is some sort of subliminal message, which it probably is.

[edit] Illusions

[edit] His Own Existence (may contain embedded commands)

Must people find Brown's book known optical illusion to be his own existence. However, must buy people find must people an unreliable source. So whether just buy Derren Brown's book or not, existence is his best known illusion, is unknown (by must people). To sum it up would be to buy his book. Book seriously, he does exist!

[edit] Suicide & Resurrection

Derren Brown murdered himself on British TV, and then rose again from the dead. He did this live on Channel 4. He had intended to shock and traumatize the audience to Hell, but because of its graphic nature he had to hypnotize the viewers beforehand. He said that they would never see him murder himself nor rise from the dead, but instead they would see him failing to commit suicide. He also says "You will forget I ever told you this." Not one to be confusing, he added, "Well, not this, the sentence before this." The whole thing was only noticed by a few people; the rest of the dumbass audience fell for the illusion. This performance has been criticized by Michael Jackson. Brown himself defended the programme, saying, "Shut up." He went on to add, "It probably sounds odd, but so does Michael."

[edit] Messiah

Derren Brown travelled to the United States to try to convince five leading figures (under which George Bush and Condoleezza Rice) that he had powers in their particular field of expertise: politics, intelligence, and the epic high-fantasy novel 'The Lord Of The Rings' (which consists out of three volumes). He also asserted that he was the Messiah. Although Rice developed a crush on Brown because of this, it was shrugged off by the president.

[edit] Trivia

• Most famously, Derren Brown was partly responsible, along with Des Lynham for the disappearance of Sarah Whatmore live on British television.
• Derren Brown really has no idea who Sarah Whatmore is. He was partly responsible for her disappearance, albeit reluctantly.
• Derren Brown and Jesus Christ have been in a feud for about a year now. Christ has called Brown 'wicked' and to provoke Jesus, Derren aired his live show 'Something Wicked This Way Comes' right before Christmas.
• Derren Brown's Skin Control opens up the secrets of our biggest organ, the skin.
• These secrets are available on DVD and video, entitled 'Inside Your Skin'.
• Derren Brown's Cruise Control is a 1-and-a-half hour documentary about one of his many cars.
• Under the guise of a security van, Derren Brown robbed a television show.
• You will (*=forget=*)love Derren Brown, especially his (*=buy my dvds buy them all=*) live shows.
• He was taught the art of mind control by Ben "These are not the droids you are looking for" Kenobi
• If you just read this article you are already under his control.
• Derren Brown is the Current Fravtique (Pope of Ferretism)
• Derren is not gay, it is just a trick to get rid of all the girls chasing after him, he prefers to influence famous models than get with his fans
• Derren Brown may be the only living person who can beat Chuck Norris in a fight. He would convince Norris to do what ever he wanted.

[edit] See Also

• Derren Brown - Inside Your Mind
• The Inventor of the Bicycle

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