Dethklok
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“Hows ars wes? WES IN THE MIDDLE OFS HAVINGS THE F-guitar riff!-ING DINNERS MEAL. THATS HOWS WE AM.”
~ Skwisgaar Skwigelf on "How they are doing".
“William Murderface....Murderface...Murderface”
~ Mark Hamill on Dethklok.
“I have nothing to declare except Dethklok.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Dethklok.
Dethklok are the ultimate metal band in recorded history. Not even kidding. Dethklok is so damn metal, it's too sexy for both the Idiotic Table of the Elements and Dave Mustaine. How can they be so metal? I don't know. And that's why I'm not Dethklok.
[edit] Band members-ish
- Nathan Explosion - Vocals, Windmill Headbanging
- Skwisgaar Skwigelf - Lead guitarist, taller than a tree. Along with the classic windmill headbanging technique, Skwisgaar often uses the classic back and forth technique. He often coordinates his headbanging along with Toki. Skwisgaar has a guitar made from the wood of Christ's cross, along with a guitar made out of an ant farm. Season 3 is rumoured to reveal that they are in fact one and the same.
- Toki Wartooth (not a bumblebee)- Rhythm guitarist and token whiny European. When Toki gets annoyed with his more skilled brother in shred, he either turns into a black metal demon poser or trollops around with a clown. But for what he lacks in guitar skill, he makes up for with utter cuteness. He also has underwater friends. He claims not to be a bumblebee, however this is still yet to be confirmed
- William Murderface, Murderface, Murderface - Harmonica, Trash Can, Bass, general mutilation.
- Pickles the Drummer Dod-dilly Doo- Bizarro Axl Rose. After someone claimed he wasn't an alcoholic, he immediately drank even more to prove them wrong. As a result, he's become a role model for young Australians everywhere.
[edit] Early And Later Years
The band today known as Dethklok formed in 1992 when frontman Nathan Explosion met up with Skwisgaar at the local metal hair convention. The two quickly hit it off, based on their mutual inability to form a coherent sentence. The pair agreed that the convention was "not metal" and set off to find a cheap bar. Outside the convention, they were rudely interrupted by Pickles, who fell onto them after the bouncer kicked him out. Recognising Pickles from the most recent Drunk Olympics, Explosion brought him along.
The trio were interested in forming a band, but recognised that Skwisgaar's skilld alone wouldn't help them. They decided, over the thirteenth beer, to find themselves a bass player.
It was about this point that Murderface stabbed their table with an authentic Civil War knife. Skwisgaar, forgetting he was not, in fact, in a metal video, whipped out his guitar and attempted to shoot laser beams at Murderface. The resulting conflict can only be described as lukewarm. It somehow ended with Murderface and someone who got involved for no apparent reason, Toki Wartooth, becoming involved with the band.
With such a potent combination, it wasn't long before Dethklok became the biggest band in the world. Critics argue that this was largely because of the Murdercycle - who's going to argue with a band who owns a motorbike with four sidecars? Would you? I wouldn't.
[edit] Dethklok songs
As you would expect from a band as metal as Dethklok, they have a number of songs. Dig.
Duncan Hills Coffee
Do you folks like coffee?
Real coffee?
From the hills of...COLOMBIAAAAA?
The Duncan Hills will wake you
From a thousand deaths
A cup of blackened blood
(die, die)
PREPARE... FOR ULTIMATE FLAVOUR
YOU'RE GONNA GET SOME... NOW!
AND SCREAM... FOR YOUR CREAM...
HRUH!
- fucking brilliant Skwisgaar Skwigelf guitar solo*
DUNCAN! HILLS! DUNCAN! HILLS! DUNCAN! HILLS! COFFE!
Fin
Murmaider
MURMAIDER MURMAIDER MURMAIDER MURMAIDER
Thunderhorse
Thunder
Thunder
Thunder
Thunder
...Horse
