Dick Van Dyke's Moustache

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==The past==

Dick van Dyke (born Schlong van Carpetmuncher) is a man. A man on a mission. Even when he was a down-and-out no good bum chimney sweep with a truer-than-true London accent, he knew he was destined to be big. Even after training as a medic and helping his son solve crime, he knew he was destined to be big. However, he didnt realise that only one part of him was going to get as big as he hoped - his moustache.

The present[edit]

Apart from making him a lady's man, and giving women up and down the globe a red rash after kissing him, Dick Van Dyke's moustache has been found to have medicinal properties when smoked. Dry hairs are packed into rolling papers and rolled with tobacco. This is then smoked to produce mild intoxication after 10 minutes or so, sometimes with mild euphoria. This has caused Dick Van Dyke's moustache to be outlawed as a schedule 1 drug (or class A if you are from the other side of the universe) in a number of galaxies. At the time of print, Dick Van Dyke's moustache was so big we couldn't actually get a picture of it in this encyclopedia. We are currently constructing a peice of paper as big as the internet to let you see it.

The future[edit]

Aside from Van Dyke's own prestigous career, his moustache has gained notoriety in the broadway version of Grease, and will be starting the 'Tour of Belfierce' later in the year. Certain organisations are lobbying to have the moustache made available to cancer patients to help them cope with death.

See Also[edit]

Michael Jackson[edit]

Drugs[edit]

Wankers[edit]