Dickachu

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Dickachu
Japanese name Shogumakatifunagayatalokacalananenigenitalirish
Stage Yes
Evolves to Cumshot
Generation Four and a Hafth
Species Damn sexy/uber gay a.k.a veitch (just 4 the gay part)
Type Reproductional organ
Height 6-15
Weight 3 pounds when giggitied
Ability Rock your world
Next Pokemon Cumshot
Previous Pokemon Cirumcisor

“Bless you”

~ Tamia on Dickachu

Dickachu (Pichus Penus) is often considered to be the most powerful pokémon ever to set his two penis/leg hybrid limbs upon this earth. What separates this pokémon from your average child-friendly, yellow mongrel, is the fact that dickachu’s limbs are all replaced by penises of various sizes. This has resulted in huge controversy in several unimportant countries like Norway and Uzbekistan.

How to capture a Dickachu[edit]

The dickachu is an extremely rare pokémon, but if you are patient and lucky, you might be able to spot, or even capture one. The penis adorned creatures usually reside alongside the much more common pikachus, often as leaders for whole packs of them. Tribal people who live together with these packs, often see dickachus as second class gods. This theory is also held in high regard in certain scientific environments. Because of their high status, the best place to start if you want to capture them, would be to completely eradicate all the regular Pikachus first. If the tribal people should pose a threat, kill them as well. Now comes the hard part. With a good portion of luck and patience, you will probably come upon one of these majestic creatures. You might want to use an electric pokémon for the battle, as this might render the dikachu sterile. Watch out, though; if you damage it greatly enough, it will enrage. In this case, it will grow to almost thrice its normal size, stiffen, and develop a red tint. If you plan to capture it, now is the time to use your poké balls. Good luck.

Use of stones[edit]

Another rumored way to claim the ownership of a dickachu, is to use a stone. It is not currently known what kind of stone this refers to, but several experts think the stone in question is a moon stone. A supposed user of this technique is the aspiring pokémon trainer Ash Rectum. In a press release, he told to have "used [his] stones to evolve [his] yellow little bag of useless guts into [a] strong and beautiful creature". When asked what kind of stones he meant, Rectum answered: "You know what I mean, loverboy". It is not certain what he meant, or why he chose to call the reporter by the name of "loverboy", but is assumed the statement holds an important key to solving this modern day mystery.

“So THAT'S how I evolve my Pikachu...oh my...I need more pikachus!”

~ Poké-pervert on Dickachu


See also[edit]