Dicky the Gnome
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
 | This article is complete, irredeemable Weltschmerz. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane, pilots at the genitalia, and is an unfunny idiot. If you attempt to delete this, you will most frostily delete Bat Fuck Insane yourself. Or the submitter will delete your Weltschmerz!!!!!! |
"What a retard! Who's this article about?"
~ Dicky the Gnome
Contents |
[edit] Who is He?
Dicky the Gnome is (you're never gonna believe this) a gnome. He is a citizen of Boppaloppa and a porn addict. He is currently five hundred pounds, and resides with his wife Pamela Anderson.
[edit] What a stupid name!
Yeah, his parents hated him because he was so fat. When he was born, he almost killed his mom because he was so fat; he barely fit through. Pop! Blood everywhere! So they named him Dicky the Gnome. This name made it very hard for him to succeed in school; all the kids made fun of his name.
[edit] Childhood Hardships
So, all the other kids hated him. They made fun of him daily, which forced him into emo-ness, and drugs, blah blah blah. You've read all the pamphlets. Anyway, this is what he looked like when he came home and got high.
[edit] Kicked OUT!
Eventually he got on his mom's nerves for being so fat, so she kicked him out of the house. Literally. She sprained her ankle, too. He was twenty one when this happened, in his prime and ready to be a hobo. He took to wandering the streets. Some of his favorite ways to pass the time were:
- Killing old guys with sausages for mustaches
- Leading monkeys on political rampages
- Debating the teriyaki sauce properties of squirrel snot with nuns
[edit] Today
Today Dicky the Gnome lives in Boppaloppa with his friend Obama Clone 568229344. I cannot discuss what they do in their free time, because people under twenty one might read this.
[edit] What is He?
Here are some replies I've gotten for what Dicky the Gnome is:
Dicky the Gnome is obviously a leprechaun.
He looks stupid.
Dicky the Gnome looks a lot like your mom.
What is wrong with you people!!! It's right in his name!! Dicky the Gnome!!! Is everyone here on crack? I mean, besides me.
[edit] Scientific Name
Dicky the Gnome's exact scientific name is proliferous chubbimus gluetious maximus flatulatum. In english, that means 'One who reproduces rapidly, has ungainly overmuch flesh, a large posterior area, and is prone to loud flatulatory attacks.' Got all that? Good. Now, in understandable english, that means 'Some guy who makes a lot of babies, is really fat, has a really big butt, and farts to blow your eardrums.' Better?
[edit] Parents
His mom, besides being a capybara hooker, was a monkey dealer. Believe it or not, monkeys are a dangerous animal. Think about it. Have you ever seen a monkey climb a tree? Ever? My point exactly.
He met Dicky's mom in a gay bar in Costa Rica, where they immediatly "hit off" and... well- Dicky came to be.
Anyway, the combined characteristics of both parents created Dicky the Gnome. You can see the resemblance.
[edit] Quotes
Dicky himself, being usually orally taciturn (the noise usually comes out of the other end) has offered no opinion on what he is. "As long as I'm someone who gets defective monkey crisps, I'm happy." {{Quote from Dicky the Gnome}} Upon further questioning, Dicky the Gnome revealed that he liked to delete on Weltschmerzs, delete defective Weltschmerzs, and delete the defective off of a defective Weltschmerz.
