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DictoChat is a communication utility included with the Nintendo DS. It is used to draw penises with up to fifteen other people connected wirelessly. It is doubtful that you will ever engage with fifteen other Nintendo DS users at the same time through Dictochat, unless, of course, you live in Japan.

DictoChat in action.


The touch screen can be used to type letters with an on-screen keyboard that takes up half of the screen. This is very useful when you find the need to hit the incorrect letter and have to continuously fix your mistakes while attempting to communicate with other intellectual beings. Obviously, you use the touch screen for drawing penises. If a person is unable to use one chat room it may be because the wireless channel is already in use by 16 pedophiles less than 100 feet away from that person.

Using DictoChat[edit]

Are you fucking retarded?

    1. Turn on your Nintendo DS
    2. Touch the "Dictochat" button
    3. Draw Penises
    4. Draw Tits
    5. Draw more Penises
    6. AND MORE!!!
    7. ...
    8. Profit!

DictoChat has an easy-to-use interface. The first thing to do is simply draw the picture penis one wants to send with the stylus and pressing the send button while giggling with suppressed laughter. One can also type a message by using the Control Pad to select letters. Doing so is quite dangerous, and often results in spontaneous combustion. Pressing select or the retrieve button will recall the penis at the bottom of the top screen. To see a penis previously sent, the R and L buttons are used to scroll up and down.

Clicking on a user's name will reveal his or her profile (which can be changed to include a message about penises in the DS settings).

Beyond DictoChat[edit]

Some DS owners use DictoChat to create short animations called Dictomation. It is achieved through slave labor. The animators can than press and hold down the left shoulder button and see animated penises dancing across the screen.

Vagina Controversy[edit]

At one point during the release of the Nintendo DS, the idea of drawing vaginas in place of penises became popular. This new technique ruined the experience for everyone else. Many forum-goers complained, forcing Nintendo to release a new model of DS that would explode if the user attempted to draw a vagina onscreen(whether the unit was on or off).