Die Hard II

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Someone who finds it hard to die

good Die Hard II is an expression uttered by beings who find it hard to die. These beings (also known as people) are so old that they get their sentence structure confused, and therefore say it die hard instead of hard to die!. Although the phrase "Die Hard" has been used in the past, new phrases are now being used to mean hard to die. These include: "Die Harder," "Die Hard with a Vengance," and recently, "Live Free or Die Hard." The latter has been used as a slogan of the Sugar Maple Nursing Home for the Incarcerated.

Many people find it hard to die, but the most well-known of these is Bruce Willis, who is the biggest badass on the planet. If you fuck with him, he will kick you ass. He has tried to kill himself many times, for example jumping off of a skyscraper, running onto a runway moments before a plane crashes, boarding a ship with a very large bomb, and crashing a helicopter into a chainlink fence. To date, none of these methods has successfully killed him. Death experts have since diagnosed Willis with the notorious protagonist disease as a probable reason to why he yet has not died.

However, there are also Spawners who die at an incredibly fast rate, but are resurrected at an equally fast speed. A good example of this would be Will Smith. Although he killed himself repeatedly in such ways as blowing himself in a giant zombie hoard or sitting in a bath tub with lethal jellyfish, he always gets revived in some mysterious way. Some suggest that he has traded his soul to Longdicka, the occult devil that black people worship, but this is unsubstantiated, as Will Smith does not have a long dick.

Reasons[edit]

  • There are many reasons people may find it hard to die, such as making use of the fountain of youth, being God or the protagonist disease.
  • Scientific studies have concluded saying, "Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker!" whenever you brutally slaughter someone may be a symptom of the protagonist disease.
  • One reason you might be finding it hard to die, is simply that you're not trying hard enough. Go ahead, ignore your loved ones and set fire to many things. Maybe some kind person will do it for you.

The Documentary[edit]

Bruce Willis has attempted to spread information and awareness of the disease by releasing a series of documentaries known as the Die Hard Tetralogy. The four movies show the everyday life of a patient diagnosed with the protagonist disease and the hardships and struggles they face. These documentaries are based on Willis' true-life experiences.

He is currently working on the fifth and sixth installments, called "Dying Hurts" and "Die Hard with Incontinence" which will actually feature his family, apart from pictures and the occasional phone call to his wife, who I hear is still upset with him.

Solutions[edit]

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Die Hard is an expression uttered by beings who find it hard to die


Die Hard series
Die Hard (1988) • Die Hard 2 (1990)
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Die Hard II is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.