Dinner
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“Enough! My ship sails in the morning! I wonder what's for DINNER?”
~ The King on Dinner
“Mah Boi! This is a piece of shit!”
~ The King on Burger King
“Dinner is to London what Tea is to up-north, and Tea in London is a hot leaf based beverage whereas Dinner up-north is what they call Coffee”
~ Steven Hawking on Dinner
Dinner is for most people the main meal of the day, but for some who live in the Southern Hemisphere their only meal of the week. Dinner Time is not only the time you have dinner, but you can also watch TV at the same time. Thus it is also refered to as Prime Time. Sometimes hardworking people who does not have enough time will combine their lunch with dinner to call it "Linner". If this sounds strange then you should also check out brunch.
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[edit] History of Dinner
The following has been disputed by Buddhists and other vegetarians. Which is really knda weird. Fat Guys fighting other Fat Guys.
[edit] Inception
Dining at dinner in a general and basic form refers to eating or ingestion of food. That is the earliest form of human activity since the cave age, besides copulating and defacating. As in all primitive activities, eating was not well organised, or was there surety of even what can be eaten or not. Some ended up eating each other in what is now known by the rest of us who escaped it as cannibalism.
The first type of eating did not have the accompanying conversaton:
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What will you like to eat, my dear man of the house? |
As noted, early days did not bring the luxury of the fridge, microwave, broadband to conduct paid work from home, and not even a fine orderly family that has a distinct time to settle down to a meal at sun down. They probably be fending off a bear that also has its version of meal times. How lucky we are! We not only can store fat and not burn any off but can afford to show off how expensive our dinners cost.
[edit] Expensive Dinners
This is a pure modern invention, as dinners by calculation from the Consumer's Association does not really cost much more than what you pay for at Walmart. Expensive restaurants now operate and offer so called 'dinner' that can run into hundreds of dollars and even expect the eaters to pay an extra service charge or tip. Dinners are now political as it divide the rich and poor to eat the same food at different prices.
The poor do not mind but the rich often rub salt into open wounds. They also produce credit cards to show how they can pay for food without showing any money. They also give their car keys to vallets at the door that will ensure that their cars are within sight of anyone who passes by.
[edit] Fast Food
With the introduction of Culinary Science and the production of Chefs who study designing of dinners in colleges, more and more dinners can be produced on a more massive scale. Capitalists began to exploit the cheap supply of agriculture products that circumvent the use of direct manual labor and force the masses to work harder and faster, even though there is actually too much food to go around judging from the contents of trash cans you find in all american households. An estimated 4% of the world population produce all the food eaten by 100% of everyone.
Large corporations such as MacDonalds and Kentucky Fried Chicken began to sprang up besides the Soviet Union and Mitsubishi to produce Sushi that is not only cold but raw. Even China joined in the superpower game and lace babypowder with gunpowder. When babies began to die, the Chinese government declared that they have finally solved the one child policy and can now disolve it.
France introduced its so called soup du jour, ala carte, buffet and condoms that raise the dinner prices even higher. But no one can beat the seven course dinner by Chinese Restaurants. They invented chinese tea that tastes horrible in order for you to appreciate any other taste other than chinese tea.
The Vietnamese has the most unwasteful diet which comprise of frogs, lizards, snakes, leather and chewing gum. If you live by the sea then of course you can dive straight into the corals for tepanyaki.
[edit] The Dinner Act 1874 v.1.2 or Act of Dining (amended 1995)
During the baby boom, Dinner or Dinner party was a very extravagant and ad hoc affair, with estates competing to host the most erotic Dinner party that often ends up in orgies and wife-swapping. However, after mass famines in Africa and Antartica where no humans could survive living with the penguins, governments began to explain to the peoples that food is not a plaything and must be eaten or given away. Thus new laws of eating was passed by the UN Security Council:
The following can be found in the Acts, and have clearly passed into modern dinnertime custom:
- Thou shalt not use your hands and fingers but use germ-free forks and spoons and knives to attack the food, be it dead or alive.
- Unless thou are not from Old England, but from The Orient then by all means use your chopsticks.
- Thou must dispose of any carcass after eating into proper waste-bins and not left to underpaid migrant workers to attend to more work.
- If thou art a minor, then thou shalt take the hamburger, nope no more, just one, and sit at the porch and eat silently and not be heard.
- If thou art a damsel in hunger then thou may inquire the household and have thy share whereupon thou may repay by clearing up the mess and tuck the lord in.
- Thou must declare faithfully thy calorie consumption to thy trainer and allow Price Waterhouse to audit the calorie loss on a daily basis.
- Thou must not deceive thy consort by feeding her excessively thus enlarging her body mass to the point that she could no longer stop others from tucking you in.
[edit] Mass Dining
Perhaps the most hideous form of dining today is to have large cafetarias such as those in army camps, coal mines and prisons where everyone has to queue up in uniformed clothes, receiving uniform amounts of food and no chef de mission to provide safe eating tips. There are also no spices or exotic women to help devour the bland food.
However on the other extreme there are night clubs, and strip joints where eating is mostly carried out by men while naked women have to dance without food and often holding on to flag poles for support. Many seems to eat paper money instead of food crumbs that lie around the tables and floor. Sometimes vice squads rushed the place to save them to at least enjoy prison food for a few nights until they are strong enough to return to their families.
[edit] Chicken
Perhaps the most commonly used abbreviated nickname for Dicken. Made famous by the film "21". Normally heard accompanied by "Winner winner chicken...."
