Dinosarzz!!!1

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Introduction[edit]

Cousins to the doppleganger, Dinosarzz!!!1s are a race of highly advanced pranksters that can only truly be seen by one person (their victim) at a time. Customarily, they hunt packs of humanoids; the footsteps of such packs make the approach of a Dinosarzz!!!1 almost entirely undetectable.

Habits and Hunting Strategies[edit]

Like many other predators in the wild, the Dinosarzz!!!1 will first observe all possible prey before finally deciding on a victim. In most circumstances, this is the most infantile of the group, one whose actions and language are not only substandard for their age, but border on bumping them several steps back on the evolutionary level. Such a presence is common and shunned by other members of the humanoid party. The Dinosarzz!!!1 will reveal itself to the member, who will panic. The other members of the party being to evolved to sense its approach typically believe that their companion is merely fabricating stories for attention.

Anatomy of the Common Dinosarzz!!!1[edit]

Dinosarz!!!1 are anatomically simple creatures, consisting mostly of a gelatinous substance called SPAM. The conductive properties of SPAM allow it to support the Dinosarzz!!!1 few cognitive functions, making stomach space where in other organisms there would appear a brain. This is not to say the Dinosarzz!!!1 are unintelligent. For being brainless, they are far from such a status. In a recent study at the University of Illinois, it was found that the average Dinosarzz!!1 has a 24-point higher IQ than me, the author of this article. Admittedly, when I first heard this statistic I was quite taken aback, but the nice people in white coats assured me this was no insult.

Dinosarzz!!!1 usually develop a dominant appendage. This limb becomes far more massive than the others, much as it does for certain species of crabs and lobsters. The added weight to that side of the body gives the Dinosarzz!!!1 a lean to one side, which is almost absolutely irrelevant. The dominant limb developes sharp claws in late adolesence. This is perfect for hunting the all-too-common n00b.

History[edit]

Dinosarzz!!!1 reached the brink of extinction in the early 1800's as colonialization ensured the entire world knew both the sophistication and unsanitary conditions of city life. This environment was not conducive to happy Dinosarzz!!!1, who became so upset that they refused to reproduce for several decade. A young man named Ash Ketchum adopted a few of them in 1912, and kept them as pets. The peculiarity of the relationship between Mr. Ketchum and his pets prompted many authors to write about him, the most famous of these stories becoming the Pokémon video game. During WWI, he trained them to fight in his basement, and soon had the entire world's population of Dinosarzz!!!1. Due to financial insecurities during the Great Depression, we was forced to sell his entire collection of living Dinosarzz!!1s to a Japanese merchant. The Dinosarzz!!1 population grew rapidly, during WWII, as their had been bred to survive in violent environments.

Cold War Era and Beyond[edit]

The Cold War saw Dinosarzz!!!1 breeding farms sprout up around Russia, Canada, and the United States. Hopes were that they could fight wars for humans, but the Dinosarzz!!!1s had different plans. A massive excape was coordinated, and they all apparently vanished for years. Now, the Dinosarzz!!!1 population is thought to have become entirely ferral, hunting weak primates.

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