Disney Princesses
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The Disney Princesses, better known as the Disney Assassins, are a group of extremely deadly murderesses from various realms known for seducing and subsequently slaughtering their corresponding Disney Princes.
[edit] History
A long time ago, the universe was rampantly infested with useless, functionless morons known as Disney Princes. In order to combat this wave of incompetence, the Jedi Council voted to create a group of highly trained, exceedingly violent female mercenaries to seduce and then eliminate the annoying scourge. Due to an accounting error, the development team was given an excessively high budget, and as a result decided to create one Disney Princess for each Disney Prince, rather than create just a few and have each one kill as many of the Princes as she it could. Once finished, the assassins were unleashed upon universe, and each in turn went on an epic and totally absurd quest to find, seduce, marry, then slaughter her its assigned target. These incredibly gory quests went down in history as some of the greatest adventures of all time, and were frequently told as bedtime stories, in American History textbooks, and in Chinese poetry.
In order to capitaliz on the huge popularity of these fairy tales historical accounts, Walt Disney, a modern descendant of the Disney Princes, decided to portray the events leading up to the slaughter of a few of his ancestors in a series of animated films. Wanting to portray his ancestors as slightly more competent than they actually were, however, he decided to leave out the final part of the tales in which the Disney Princesses morphed into Attack Forme and gruesomely slaughtered their targets. Despite being total bullshit and very inaccurate, these animated films became very popular, especially amongst children who had not yet been desensitized to seeing limitless amounts of gratuitous violence. Due to the success of these movies, Walt went on to found a full-blown company entirely dedicated to creating large-budget, highly profitable movies based on ideas and stories ripped off from others but which were free to use because they had entered public domain.
[edit] Nature
Each Disney Princess is a transformer and has two Formes, Defense Forme (a.k.a. Princess Mode) and Attack Forme (a.k.a. Assassin Mode). In Defense Forme they appear cute, innocent, and naive, believing in silly ideas such as the inherent goodness of people and fairies. In Attack Forme, however, they are extremely dangerous, blood-lusting psychos who kill on sight and achieve epic lulz as a result. Each one was specifically designed and manufactured to match the fetishes of a particular Disney Prince: for example, there was a pale one, a mermaid, a furry, and an Asian. Due to the utter wimpyness of their targets, however, their Attacke Formes required no specialization, and thus were primarily results of the whims of their creators. A handful of these assassins have been portrayed in popular animated Disney films. These portrayals tell the stories of the tracking, seduction, and marriage of the Princes by the Princesses, but stop short of the totally awesome part briefly following the marriage where the Princess transforms into Assassin Mode and gruesomely slaughters the Prince. After fulfilling the missions which they were created for, the assassins went on to participate in other adventures of massive carnage, for which they are also well-known.
