Disturbia

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“Disturbia? More like Disturbing.”

~ Captain Obvious on Disturbia.
A group of Disturbians, participating in their favorite sport of child molesting.

History[edit]

Sometime in the 1942, the King of Suburbia declared "Just another day in Suburbia, it's a beautiful day in Suburbia. Best not let it get the best of you." But many of the citizens had grown tired of such oppression, and thus the great Urbia revolution of 1954 started. After the dust finally settled, Disturbia and its neighbors Preturbia and Suspiria were formed. The first Disturbian leader was the war hero Daniel Brecht. Daniel had set up many of the traditions that Disturbia became famous for, as well as founding its capital, The City of Wonder. He ruled his country with peace and prosperity, until his unexpected death in a car crash. His teenage son Kale (better known to the world as Shia Labeouf), then took over, but with much political opposition. Duke Guticurez, Commisioner Cantillo, and Count Robert Turner plotted to overthrow him, with Turner trying to assasinate Kale and his mother personally. However, the assination failed, and Kale ruled for 12 years without trouble.

King Malbert, boldly abusing an Igor in front of Queen Julie.

But, in 1988, disaster struck when King Malbert of Malaria invited himself to queen Julie's birthday party. For many years, the government of Disturbia had frowned upon Malaria's economic system and human rights violations. And so, seeing this a political taunt, Kale declared war on Malaria. The Disturbians had lost badly in the 3-week war due to Malaria's vast arsenal of monsters, and high-tech weapons, and Preturbia's lack of assistance.


King Kale died in the summer of 1997. He had no heirs, so his royal advisor Chris Fowler took over. But Fowler's reign was short, for he was soon overthrown by Chris Brown, in the Chris Crisis. Brown later voluntarily gives the leadership to Rihanna. So far, Queen Rihanna has done well in governing Disturbia, with new enviormental policies, and an alliance with the new Malarian leader Igor (although she dosn't agree with his "pocket full of sunshine" policy). However, she has also created a new wave of cruelity with criminal punishment.

Government[edit]

Since its founding, Disturbia has been ruled by a monarchy, supported by various lesser nobles. One of the oldest policies is for the government government to assign agents to spy on neighborhoods. The local hot girls, and serial killers get spyed on the most. The country is also very seceretive and isolationist with its "Nothing heard, nothing said , can't even speak about it" law.

Society[edit]

A typical Disturbian during lunch time.

The people of Disturbia like to do jerky movements regularly, and they have no sense of personal space. Tourists have complained about this, saying "its too close for comfort". Also, Disturbians don't belief in public lighting, so "it's like the darkness is the light". As a result, the country has a high crime rate at night so "it's a thief in the night to come and grab you"


There are a lot of strange traditions that Disturbians follow such as "Disconnectin' all the calls", "Watching out, you might just go under" and "putting on their brake lights, when stopping at the city of wonder". Disturbians are known for their odd sense of humor, their favorite joke being the "put flaming shit on your door" prank. Disturbia is also famous for its anti-biotic history, fighting "a disease of the mind that controls you". Lastly, the Disturbians have contributed about 29% of all crap found on Youtube, such as breaking into cars and escaping from the house of their creepy neighbors.


Economy[edit]

In its early years, Disturbia relied heavily on their natural oil reserves. But one day "No more gas, in the rig can't even get it started". And so, the Disturbians concentrated on an assortment of crafts and manufacturing jobs. They are now well know for exporting mannequins, umbrellas, binnoculars, hunting knifes, youtube crap, and torture devices. So far, their leading import has been unsuspecting victims.


Enviorment[edit]

Disturbia has a northern temperate zone for climate. Much of the plantife, and wildlife are pretty normal, with deer, rabbits, wolves, and that sort of thing. A rare animal they do have is the Urbian man eating wall, that always starts with the arms. There is also the Upper Urbian birdwoman, who is considered sacred by Disturbian beliefs. Also, many of the people act like animals, and not just in the bedroom.


Criminal Punishment[edit]

Disturbians have had a long tradition of using house arrest leg bracelets. Under Queen Rihanna's administration, Disturbia has earned a reputation for having unusually cruel and strange punishments. These include being forced to stand up in a cage, being tied to a chair in a very tiny cell, and getting your hands tied to a piece of wood and your face being pushed up against a wooden pole. For special political crimes, the victim is placed in chair, and be spun by a patch-eyed thug until they get dizzy. However, because the chair turns very slowly, this rarely happens, and the punishment usually ends when the thug collapses from exhaustion.

Who lives in Disturbia?[edit]

Disturbia is aad place to visit, and an even worse place to stay in. But in spite of this, there seems to be many people who actually reside in Disturbia. Most Batman villains have lived in Disturbia at some point, as well as Batman himself. Sega has also moved itsfacilities to Disturbia, which may expalin the quality of the recent Sonic games. Disturbia is also the birth place, of all the members of the band Disturbed.

Famous Disturbians[edit]