Doctor Who - The Force Unleashed
|Doctor Who - The Force Unleashed|
|Platforms||PS3, Xbox 360, Wii, PS2, PSP, DS, PC|
|Would Queen Elizabeth I play it?||If they are English, then they would wanna have sex with it, if they're not, then they would wanna burn it|
“This game is like Marmite for the English, if you're English, then you're most likely a nerdy Doctor Who fan, and you will love this game. If you're American, then you will hate the English for ripping off Star Wars with this lame conversion.”
Doctor Who - The Force Unleashed is an official Doctor Who game created by BBC. You play as a mysterious young teenager named Josh, who has become Doctor Who's apprentice. You travel in the TARDIS, going through numerous Time Periods, Universes, and Planets. As players progress through the game they will learn new Force Powers and Time Lord moves, also, Josh can "have fun" with a number of female Doctor Who companions. The player can also choose whether to follow Doctor Who's morals or defect to The Master instead.
The physics engine, is it what BBC claimed it could do?
The game has got a lot of squarking over it's advanced physics engine, which was created by LucasArts but then copied by this game. Basically enough, you can uberpwn Cybermen, Daleks, Dialects, Zygons, and eventully The Master using The Force and a Magic Screwdriver by throwing them around with the Analog Sticks. You can also lift up objects and other shit and throw them onto your enemies.
Josh - The hero of Doctor Who - The Force Unleashed. He is an Australian teenager (and Darth Jeremy's cousin), while skateboarding the streets of Ballarat he meets Doctor Who, who senses great power in him. Josh then agrees to become Doctor Who's new apprentice, and because Doctor Who travelled to the Star Wars dimension, he was able to teach Josh some Force Powers. Josh eventully soon reachs a point in his powers where he can possibly kill Doctor Who, because Doctor Who does not ever use his powers for violence.
Muck-Michael - Darth Jeremy's loyal companion. He is a master of boxing, he appears in a few levels to help out Josh and is playable during a few levels. He can beat the crap out of Doctor Who enemies by punching the shit out of them. He appeared in this game to concide with the release of his YouTube video.
The Doctor - In this game, Doctor Who has discovered the Star Wars dimension and learned the ways of The Force. He even managed to swipe a Red Lightsaber off the evil Sith Lord of no importance. Doctor Who then travels in the TARDIS to Earth, and he ends up in Ballarat, Victoria, Australia. He is playable during this first level, where Daleks try to take over Ballarat. He meets a young boy named Josh, who he takes as his apprentice. He teaches Josh how to be as corrupt as possible and also how to perform plastic surgery on himself. Josh then becomes the main character of the game.
Rose Tyler - Rose, the 9th Doctor's babe, makes a minor appearance during the London level, where she helps out Josh, Muck-Michael, Captain Jack, and Darth Jeremy during a battle with an army of Daleks. However at the end of the game the characters find out that Rose was nothing more than a Cyberman spy in disguise. Josh and the other playable characters (The Doctor, Captain Jack, Darth Jeremy, and Muck-Michael) can also have fun with her in the "Hot TARDIS" minigame.
Darth Jeremy - Based on the famous Uncyclopedia noob Darth Jeremy, Darth Jeremy is a former companion of The Doctor and the character is based on one of EvilCecil4th's many aliases. Darth Jeremy wields a magic Playstation controller and a Lightsaber he stole from Palpatine. He appears during a few scenes to teach Josh the ways of The Force at the start of the game, and makes apperences all through until the end. He shows up in a few levels as an NPC to help Josh fight his enemies. Like Muck-Michael he is also playable during a few levels. Attacks include dancing like he is on crack. Jeremy appeared in this game to promote his YouTube video, like Muck-Michael did.
Captain Jack - The bisexual star of Torchwood shows up to help out Josh and The Doctor, he is only playable during 1 measly level, but who cares because he fights alongside Josh as an NPC during most of the levels anyway.
Peri - Serves the same purpose as Ace, but is far more popular.
The Master - The Master can be either the game's main villian or the game's main ally. Mid-game Josh can choose if he wants to continue fighting on The Doctor's side or defect to The Master's side. If Josh chooses to defect to The Master then he will be playable during one level and will fight alongside Josh later on as an NPC, If Josh stays with The Doctor then The Master will be the game's final boss.
Rebecca - The sexy blonde and the heroine. She pashes Josh, that lucky son of a bitch. You are also able to have sex with her in the "Hot TARDIS" minigame, but only by Josh. Oh well, the minigame sucks ass anyway, just like the main game.
The Gaylord - The retarded Dalek master makes an apperance as a boss and recurring villian in Doctor Who - The Force Unleashed. Josh fights him numerous times regardless of whether he chooses to follow The Doctor or The Master.
Bob the Bloodbath - A Sontaroon General made exclusively for this game. Doctor Who Nerds voted this character the #1 character in the whole game, because he actully fills in some holes relating to the Sontaroons.
Oscar Wilde - He has to appear in every game ever made due to the International Video Game Regulation Act, in this game he appears as Captain Jack's new boyfriend. You are also able to have sex with him in the "Hot TARDIS" minigame but only with Captain Jack, which sucks because we all know that Doctor Who is secretly gay.
At the beginning, Doctor Who finds himself in the Star Wars Universe, and he learns the ways of The Force and steals Darth Vader's Lightsaber. After travelling back to the Main Universe he discovers the Daleks are attempting a sneak attack on Planet Earth, attacking a small city in Victoria, Australia as practice for the main attack they would do later on in the series. The Doctor defeats The Daleks and prevents the invasion. Before he is about to take off in the TARDIS he meets a young boy named Josh, with The Force he senses great power in him and Josh soon becomes his new apprentice.
Main Game (First Half)
4 months after the prevented Dalek invasion and after Josh became The Doctor's apprentice, Josh is ordered by The Doctor to attack a ship of Cybermen who have taken some innocent people hostage. Josh freakin pwns the Cybermen with his newfound powers and rescues the people. He meets Rebecca, who was also attacking the ship, he takes her back to the TARDIS, where The Doctor travels to New Zealand on Earth, where Josh meets Muck-Michael and Darth Jeremy and fights a small Dalek army. Josh then travels to the Torchwood Organisation in London and learns some more powers from The Doctor. He teams up with Captain Jack and travels to a Cybermen outpost on a strange Planet, where he learns how use Force Lightning from Darth Jeremy. After killing the Cybermen Darth Jeremy and Muck-Michael take the TARDIS and attack a few alien Planets, spliting up and commanding small armies, and they become playable during these levels.
After Darth Jeremy and Muck-Michael return to the TARDIS, everyone soon discovers the Daleks are attacking Earth again, choosing to blow the crap out of London this time. The whole team fights off the Daleks with the help of Rose and returns to the TARDIS. Rose rejoins The Doctor, and he is delighted to reunite with her.
During the Dalek assualt Josh fights an oversized Dalek that looks like a ripped-off Transformer and destroys the Dalek army attacking London. He then meets The Gaylord, and they engage in an epic lightsaber duel, The Gaylord defeats Josh and kidnaps Rebecca.
A wounded Josh is rescued by The Doctor and taken back to the TARDIS, where Martha treats him. He then knocks The Doctor unconscious and hijacks the TARDIS, unleashing a one-man assualt on the Dalek Planet.
He then discovers that the Sontaroons have attacked the Dalek planet and taken Rebecca with them. He then goes to uberpwn the Sontaroons and he blows the shit out of their potato heads. He rescues Rebecca, who pashes him, he then returns to the TARDIS and rejoins The Doctor. They have a huge arguement over their differences, and this begins the "Second Half" of the game where the player can choose whether to make Josh redeem himself for The Doctor or defect to The Master's side by fighting The Doctor.
Main Game, THE CHOICES (Second Half)
The player will then be given a question asked by The Doctor:
"You have disgraced yourself by knocking me out and attacking those Daleks and Sontaroons without my permission. I am fed up, and if you want to continue working with me as my apprentice then I want you to do some very difficult tasks for me involving attacking The Master, my arch enemy. Will you do these tasks or not?"
There are two responses:
Doctor Who path: "Yes, I apoligize for being a dickhead, I was desperate to save Rebecca, what do you want of me...?"
The Master path: "Doctor Who, screw you, you piece of crude, cause' I'm gonna uberpwn you"
Main Game, DOCTOR WHO PATH (Second Half)
"Yes, I apoligize for being a dickhead, I was desperate to save Rebecca, what do you want of me...?" - Josh
Josh then begins his ultimate redemption mission to whack The Master and prevent him from attacking more innocent Planets and Life. He takes Muck-Michael with him and visits a Grue Planet, with Mercenary Grues working for The Master, using the advanced Force powers he learned during the assualt on the Dalek Planet Josh becomes one of the first humans to destroy an army of Grues.
The Master becomes outraged, because Grues are supposed to eat everything in existance. He gets pissed and orders his own Private Cybermen Army to end Josh once and for all, however Darth Jeremy has secretly been spying on The Master by posing as his Army's Emperor, and he orders the whole army to attack The Master. However, the Cybermen aren't stupid and notice Darth Jeremy's posing, they attempt to destroy him but he fights his way to the Aircraft Hanger and hijacks The Master's custom TARDIS, pwning The Master's ass along the way.
Meanwhile, back with Josh. Josh continues his path to redeem himself by using senseless violence against innocent Cybermen. The Doctor seems to have had some trouble with the Sontaroons, who are fiddling with his TARDIS control systems and preventing him from travelling to different dimensions. Josh, Rebecca, Captain Jack, and The Doctor stowaway aboard a Sontaroons ship. After disabling the control systems Josh fights the Captain of the ship, known only as "Bob the Bloodbath", Josh quickly dispatches him with his Lightsaber despite the difficulties with getting his weapon to work and the paralysis caused by Bob.
The Team then gathers up Muck-Michael, Martha, and Rose and travels to The Master's Army Base, where they meet Darth Jeremy in the airspace, he bails out of his hijacked TARDIS and grabs onto The Doctor's TARDIS, flinging himself into the door. Then Josh jumps out and pulls himself onto the top of the TARDIS, where The Doctor has conveniently installed a Gun Turret on the top of the TARDIS, Josh blows up the aircraft chasing the TARDIS as they arrive, however after the TARDIS has left the Planet's airspace the Turret blows off, Josh hops back into the TARDIS and the Team stops at Earth to gather supplies for the oncoming battle.
Josh has sex with Rebecca, and leaves her with his mother in Ballarat. He then hops aboard the TARDIS and travels to the Dalek Planet, where him and his friends take on The Gaylord. Josh uses the most powerful powers he has up his sleeve and uberpwns The Gaylord (who is restored by Medical Daleks soon after the Team escapes), he then retreats back to the TARDIS with his friends.
Josh manages to defeat The Master with the aid of all his friends: Doctor Who, Muck-Michael, Darth Jeremy, Captain Jack, Martha, and Rose, who fight alongside him during this final battle. The Master throws his own custom "Master Smoke Grenade" and automatically retreats in his custom TARDIS, which he retrieved after Darth Jeremy bailed out of it earlier. Everyone gets back to the TARDIS, and Doctor Who takes everybody back to their home Planet Earth, Doctor Who then asks Josh if he would like to continue joining him as his apprentice and companion, but Josh refuses so he can possibly defend Planet Earth from The Doctor's enemies. Oh, boo-hoo, how sad. The credits soon roll and if the player played long enough to see the credits then they will see the only good thing about the game, good because it came to an end.
During the end credits, The Doctor is seen with Rose in the TARDIS. Where he explains to her that the real Rose was lost in another universe, and that he knew she was nothing more than a Cyberman spy. The Doctor uses his Screwdriver to unmask the Cyberman's apperance. He then throws it out of the TARDIS in anger, and it floats into the limitless depths of space.
Main Game, THE MASTER PATH (Second Half)
"Doctor Who, screw you, you piece of crude, cause' I'm gonna uberpwn you" - Josh
Then there is a boss battle with Doctor Who, in which Doctor Who gains the upper hand with The Force and throws Josh out of the TARDIS. Then The Master rescues him and you become evil or some shit. Apparently I've heard from the nerd at school that if you pick this path, you have to convince everyone else to turn evil and get them on your side. So yeah, BBC ripped off yet another Star Wars game: The KOTOR series.
I can't give detailed infomation on this path because I've never picked this path, and neither has 98% of the world's population. Apparently all you do is go around slaughtering people, but in a shitty Doctor Who method.
If you know anybody who picked this path, please, murder them for me. They don't belong in this world.
Here are all the secret costumes and the respective cheats to unlock them. Enter them when you're inside the TARDIS.
Doctor Who Costume - TIMELORD
Captain Jack Costume - BILORD
Dalek Costume - HOWDOYOUSCREWAPEPPERPOT
Rose Costume - ENGLISHSLUT
Martha Costume - HORNYFEMALEDOCTOR
Donna Costume - YUCKYSLUT
Bruce Lee Costume - KARATEKICKASS
Darth Jeremy Costume - AWESOMEPALADIN
Muck-Michael Costume - PUNCHMASTER
Chuck Norris Costume - ROUNDHOUSEKICKFORNOOBS
Tom Cruise Costume - ANTSINMYPANTS
Grue Hitler Costume - GRUESEATYOU
Cyberman Costume - CYBERSPACEMEN
Sontaroon Costume - MASHEDPOTATOFUN
Lolcat Costume - ICANHASZCHEEZBURGER?
Lolrus Costume - IHAZABUCKET!
The Master Costume - EVILTIMELORD
Bob the Bloodbath Costume - DISABLEMYMORALITY
Anakin Skywalker Costume - CROSSUNIVERSESPLEASE
Angry German Kid Costume - FUCKINGNOOBSTHEYMAKEMESMASHKEYBOARD
Ace Costume - OLDSCHOOLGIRLCOMPANION
Peri Costume - GIVEMEANOTHEROLDSCHOOLGIRLCOMPANION
Rebecca Costume - HOTSEXYTEENAGE13YEAROLDGIRLONMYRAPETORAPEPLEASE
The Gaylord Costume - LOSERONWHEELS
Oscar Wilde Costume - UNCYCLOPEDIAPWNS
Dalek Version 2.0 - The first Boss Battle in the game, you play it during the Tutorial level with Doctor Who. This fight is pretty easy and is impossible to lose as it is triggered to have The Doctor dodge every shot the boss tries to get on him.
Tom Cruise (First Fight) - You fight this wanker during the Muck-Michael level. As you play as Muck-Michael during this battle you can only punch and kick. However Tom Cruise is a whiny bitch and will go down within a few hits.
Cyberdude - An upgraded Cyberman. Capable of shooting lasers that disable The Force. During this battle you play as Darth Jeremy. Using Force Lightning quickly before he can disable The Force is the key to winning the battle.
UberDalek - A hard battle, you must protect many civilians in England while fighting this massive ripped-off Transformer. Lots of insane quick-time events must be done during this battle.
The Gaylord (First Fight) - Fairly easy, the whole boss battle is rigged however, and Josh will always lose.
Grue Hitler - Commander of The Master's Grue Army. The second hardest Boss in the whole game, behind Chuck Norris. He can eat you within 2 Seconds from the start of the battle. You must perform some of the hardest quick-time events to dodge his eating abillites.
The Master (First Fight) - Fairly easy, but can get a little annoying at times, you play as Darth Jeremy in this battle. However as Darth Jeremy knows all the Force Powers from the start (unlike Josh), he can use Force Nuke to unleash massive damage on The Master. After Darth Jeremy pwns his ass he tries to escape in his TARDIS, but Darth Jeremy quickly knocks him out and hijacks his TARDIS.
Bob the Bloodbath - A Sontaroon General, he has the abillity to disable your Weapons and Force Powers. There are two ways to avoid this, use Force Sense before he uses the "Disable Power" or take a cue from Metal Gear Solid and plug your Controller into Port 2 to prevent him from reading your mind and figuring out when you're trying to attack.
Tom Cruise (Second Fight) - Since the last battle, Tom has been training hard on Oprah and building up his arsenal of Weapons. This fight would be hard if Josh didn't have EVERY SINGLE ally he had fighting alongside him. It seems poor Tom Cruise was outnumbered in the end.
The Gaylord (Second Fight) - Easy peasy Japanesy, for craps sake I'm sick of talking about these bosses. This battle is like playing a god-dammed cutscene compared to the Chuck Norris battle, what I mean is that you can basically put your Controller down and let Captain Jack, The Doctor, Darth Jeremy, Muck-Michael, Rose, and Martha kick his ass for you. After you beat him Josh lands the finishing blow however, but who gives a shit.
The Master (Second Fight) - The final battle, he is the third hardest Boss, behind Chuck Norris and Grue Hitler.
Chuck Norris (Secret Boss) - An extremely hard battle! It takes freaking 18 hours to get Chuck Norris down to half health. You have to use Force Nuke all the time in this battle and it barely leaves a scratch on him. Chuck Norris's special move is the Roundhouse Kick and it will hit you immediantly after every hour you spend in the fight, and if it does hit you then you will die instantly! Even if you've spend freaking 18+ hours fighting him, if he Roundhouse Kick's you then you have to start again! After you defeat him you will learn the Roundhouse Kick but it will not be as good as he does it.
Ultra Runescape Player (Secret Boss) - One of the easiest bosses in the game. As soon as you hit him he opens a portal up and before you know you're playing Runescape with him. You have to kill him in a Runescape duel to beat him and when you kill him he turns into the Angry German Kid (look on Youtube for hints for this fight, as most people playing this game most likely don't know how to play Runescape, I mean who does).
Force Jump - Enables you to jump like those retards off Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.
Force Punch - Allows you to beat the shit out of enemies. Josh learns this skill off Muck-Michael in level five.
Force Dance - Darth Jeremy's main move. A special style of dance that involves moving one foot forward, the other foot forward, then the previous foot back, then the other foot back, he simply repeats this this to destory everything in sight. This move is almost as dangerous as Force Lightning, Darth Jeremy teaches Josh this move on the fourth level.
Force Throw - You will be using this move throughout most of the game, allows you to throw enemies and objects around to stuff things up. This is the only Force Power that BBC didn't alter the code for, and as such it is identical to the Star Wars version.
Force Lightning - The ultimate destruction move, Josh learns this power from Darth Jeremy in level seven.
Force Teleport - Enables Josh to teleport to different locations in the level to escape death and confuse his enemies.
Doctor Mind Trick - Pretty much another Force Power despite not having Force in it's name. This power is a complete rip-off of the Star Wars Jedi Mind Trick. Does pretty much the same as the Power it ripped-off from.
Force Brace - Increases maximum health for 2 minutes or some shit, a pretty crappy Power. However it is required to survive huge falls during a few levels, so bloody BBC make you use the stupid Power anyway.
Force Sense - Required when fighting Bob the Bloodbath to prevent the stupid hax-using Sontaroon from disabling your weapons. Also needed outside of boss battles to dodge traps and the like.
Force Time - I haven't played the Star Wars version, but I highly doubt they even named this "Force Time", making this game completly unique in it's rip-off of yet another famous game series: Max Payne. Slows down time for 20 seconds so you can avoid laser beams and shit.
Force Nuke - Incinerates freaking everything in sight, the most powerful skill. You learn this rare and gifted power from George W. Bush in level 17 so you can bring peace to the world through destruction.
There are many more powers then these ones, because you take control of different characters during certain levels, however, most of the time you just use the Force Powers listed above when playing as them or you just use generic punch/kick/shoot moves, so they are not really worthy of me listing here.
"Hot TARDIS" Minigame
An interactive sex minigame that was copied from the hidden code in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. In this minigame you choose from the five playable characters (Josh, The Doctor, Darth Jeremy, Muck-Michael, and Captain Jack), and choose some sweet ass for them, making sweet love in the TARDIS. You start out with just Donna, Martha, and Rose when you first play but if you complete all these girls with an 100% "Pleasure Rating" using all the characters you can unlock Ace. Get 100% with Ace, and you unlock Peri. Get 100% with Peri, and it becomes clear that you have not played the main game at all.
Rebecca is also unlockable, but she can only be "done" by Josh.
Oscar Wilde is also unlockable, but he can only be "done" by Captain Jack.
Of course, Captain Jack can do everybody, including himself.
Also, if you unlock the Dalek costume, you could do that, but I wouldn't.
The game has got mostly crap reviews from IGN, Gamespot, and YouTube. However, GameFakes gave it 10/10, saying: "This is an awesome adaption of the Doctor Who Universe, merging the goodness of Star Wars with Doctor Who and giving a whole new look on the Doctor Who saga", most people believe GameFakes were on crack when they made this statement or maybe Darth Jeremy just threatened them with his madd dancing moves.