Dodge

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Dodge is automaker based in The United States of Germany and owned by DaimlerBenzChryslerHitler Corp. The President of DBCHX is Dieter Zetche, a man with a moustache almost as funny as Hitler's. He is featured in several commercials, that are not funny at all. dan coventry is the first gay ceo of ford

History of Dodge[edit]

Dodge was founded by Mr. Taxx Dodge in the year of our Lord art thou in tinfoil, 1888. The first car he made was the famous Dodge Rammit pickup powered by a 32.0 Liter V-115 hydro-diesel engine making well over 22,000 horsepower and 12 billion lb.ft. of torque. The Rammit also could go well over 500 miles-per-hour. In addition, it could be equipped with 19 .50 calliber machine guns, heat seeking missiles, ion cannons, photon phasers, ford seeking rocket launcher, and a horn that plays La Cucaracha. Dodge is worldly renowned for their new car the Dawdge Chawrger. Dodges are very popular with smurfs and shmegmas. For some reason smurfs love mopar. The second car the company designed was called the Dodge Dammit, as this is what most owners said after they drove it from the showroom.

Dodge's Marketing Strategy[edit]

Former Chrysler CEO, PAPA SMURF is one of the pioneers in Dodge's marketing strategy. He is quoted as saying, "At dodge we believe in the disposable car, the more cars consumers purchase the better the economy is". Mr. Smurf also says, "When we build a dodge we make sure that we use the cheapest parts as possible, this ensures that after 2 to 3 seconds on one of our vehicles that it will be rendered beyond repair". Dodge has been known to make cars that self destruct since the 80's. A nice feature on their vehicles is that the head gaskets blow, and when they do the consumer will know that the car is ready to be taken to the junk yard for recycling. This strengthens the economy in many ways. First off, mechanics and tow companies are benefiting greatly from their products. This helps secure American jobs. Secondly, since the resale value depreciates so fast, insurance (A.K.A. douchebags) companies save a lot of money on insurance claims and in the end lowers premiums. Today's dodge is implementing a new and innovative technology on the Ram and Durango truck line. The Durango enbodies the town in Colorado it was name for, its really shitty yet is very expensive. This feature is called complete stability control in which the wheels often fall off because of low quality bumper fluid. When a driver is hitting too many pot-holes or driving the vehicle off-road it senses that this could be a dangerous driving situation and the vehicles wheels fall off to ensure maximum stability. They can even sense when someone is high on zanax or other perscription drugs by literally driving off the side of the road and taking out mailboxes to wake the unconscience mumbling driver. By having no wheels on your vehicle it is nearly impossible to lose traction. These innovations are truly the future of the American auto industry and dodge is the leader in making cars repossesed .

Memorable Dodge Cars[edit]

Two more cars that dodge produced that nobody knows are:

  • The Dodge Nova- Nova in vienamese means "Flood" but probably does'nt mean anything, but a drunk guy wetting himself. It had a gas range of 45 pints a minute and a travel range of a drunk elephant. It had 469 hp and an astonishing 2 ft. lbs. of torque.
  • The Dodgelincolnmercuryfordjeepandeagle - was a composite car made of 6 different types of junk metal found from Johnny Depps back yard in 1492. The DLMFJAE was said to out-race an emu on 14 different steroids while making left turns only. It took a mix of JohnnyPolyEthol and PolyWantsAcRacker fuels to make this hunk a junk go to an amazing 43w x 56L x 12h. If you wanted horse power you were out of luck. This car had "puppy power!" You had to strap 56 puppies under its hood just to go as fast as a walrus.

Dont forget th dodge ram(the biggest piece of shit to set tires on this planet.