Dog walking
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Dog walking refers to walking a shopping mall with a woman who wears plus size clothing. Anything above a size 8 means she is a dog, and shopping with her would be considered dog walking, a crime for the punishment will be Lifetime: Television for Women, no soccer on the tube, and boring old sitcoms from the 1990s and from NBC's old dusty archives. Dog walking also includes walking past places of refined sugar, purchasing potato chips, and being forced to listen to her speak in baby talk (as if that is going to make her smaller). Instead of woman's clothes, she says womanly woman's clothes and humiliates you in front of every normal (read: size 6 twentysomething woman) in the entire county.
Dogs (read: bigger ladies) can't do anything about themselves. They will be dogs until the day that they die (and need a size 26 dress to be seen at the funeral home). What a waste of fabric that size 26 dress is when poor little girls in Africa can't get enough fabric for their size 2.6 dresses. Exercise can't help a dog, diet food cannot help a dog, and even fancy exercise literature cannot help a dog. But without dogs, wouldn't the cats (read: sexy women who are between a size 2 and a size 6 with anything but a minimum wage job) feel too arrogant as they find a guy and turn him into a big guy (the male version of a dog). Oh well, maybe if dogs ate dog food instead of Krispie Kremes and fast food, maybe the world would be a better place.
[edit] Devolution of a Woman
- 0-17 years of age - jailbait
- 18-34 years of age - hottie
- 35-44 years of age - real woman
- 45-64 years of age - dog
- 65 years of age and older - senile old lady
