From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

Doonesbury is a long-running comic strip written by lounge singer Garry Trudeau. It has run every day since January 1st 1975 and read twice since then.


The plot of Doonesbury is so convoluted and intertwined that no human alive can follow it. Even loyal readers from the outset have given up any hope. The characters age with the story and document all aspects of history that is contemporary to their lives. A cult in California has dedicated itself to the worship and study of Doonesbury archives, maintaining that anyone who knows the full story will gain enlightenment. It is published in every newspaper in the world.

As of 2007 the main cast is now in their 30s and still as confusing as ever.


The thousands of characters of Doonesbury could not possibly be listed here. Below are some of the most important:

  • Hunter S. Thompson: Based loosely on the real life Uncle Duke, a quiet and sober man.
  • Ross: Monica's brother.
  • Monica: Chandler's lover.
  • Joey: Chandler's room mate.
  • Rachel: Ross' lover.
  • Phoebe: Rachel's room mate.
  • Chandler: Joey's friend.
  • Talking Cig: Anthropomorphized cigarette who haunts Garry's dreams.
  • Ziggy: Short bald hippy who works for fast food chains and professionally tans.
  • Richard Roundtree: Journalist of corrupt moral values.
  • BJ: Football player married to someone.
  • LJ: Artist married to someone, possibly has a kid since 1990.
  • RJ: Reverend at Bennington College where many of the main cast started out, supposedly, in the 70's.
  • Al: Son of a couple of them, attends prestigious Harvard University.
  • Zippy: Pinhead son of Ziggy who has a cruch on Al.
  • Linus: Brother of Lucy.
  • Lucy: Has crush on Schroeder.
  • Beethoven: Friend of Garry.
  • Fagwood Dumsticks: Garry' father.
  • Presidents: Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush Sr., Clinton, and Dubya. Each of them has played a major role in the story arc, often in tentative embraces and stolen kisses with the main characters, who all live on Capitol Hill. Also the ghost of Richard Nixon has made numerous appearances claiming to be someone's dad.
  • Calvin: Garry's Son.
  • Hobbes: Calvin's Tiger Son.
  • Jason Fox: Hobbes's Son.
  • Peter Fox: Jason's Son Don Doom. (A Tounge Twister! G'wan, try it!)
  • Roger Fox: Jason And Peter's Father.
  • Andy Fox: Roger And Jason And Peter's Abusive Mother.
  • Jeremey Duncan: Andy's Boyfriend.
  • Sara Toomey: Jeremey's Boyfriend And Andy's Friend.
  • Snoopy: The King Of The Entire Family Tree.