Dr. Seuss
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Doctor Theodore Seuss Geisel (25 December, 1904 - 19 April, 1991) Was a general practitioner at Walla-Ka-Zoo Street Medical Center and a part-time jazz/gangster/rapper from the hip-hop/jazz band, Beginner Books.
He was a most noted ecologist, winning the Nobel Prize for finding out that turtle-stacking behavior is crucial to the future of space conquest, as the turtles got to the moon before NASA.
Contents |
[edit] Biography
- Dr. Seuss wrote books, and made cash by the ton.
- He cavorted and sorted and blorted for fun.
- He was born as a Teddy, middle name Bear.
- The Roosevelts were involved, but no one knows where.
- His iron clad fist on all books for the kiddies
- Concerned all the publishers; their brains were all fitty.
- His books were fantaboo, with lessons chock full
- Of critters with jitters and creatures with wool.
- Eventually the world just became such a mess
- That he fled up to heaven, and this isn't in jest.
- It all drove him crazy, that's what they say.
- Now he's been gone some years, many months and a day.
- Come now, doesn't this world near scare YOU away?</span>
[edit] My Green Friend Liz
One of Dr. Seuss' most famous works entitled "My Green Friend Liz" was used in the school and in the family alike as a means of carnal education among children at the tender ages when such feelings awaken. Some theories of sociology state that "Liz" was single-handedly responsible for the sexual revolution of the 1960's and the resulting Baby Boom.
This seminal work is reproduced below:
[edit] Reproduction
- I am Pam
- I am Pam
- Pam I am
- That Pam-she-is !
- That Pam-she-is !
- I do not like
- that Pam-she-is !
- Do you like my green friend Liz ?
- I do not like her Pam-she-is
- I do not like your green friend Liz
- Would you like her left or right ?
- I would not like her left or right
- I would not like her in my sight
- I do not like your green friend Liz
- I do not like her Pam-she-is
- Would you like her in a park ?
- Would you like her in the dark ?
- I will not meet her in a park
- I will not touch her in the dark
- I will not have her left or right
- I will not have her in my sight
- I will not like your green friend Liz
- I will not like her Pam-she-is
- Would you take her by the hand ?
- Would you take her in the sand ?
- Not by the hand
- Not in the sand
- Not at a park
- Not in the dark
- I do not want her left or right
- I do not want her in my sight
- I do not like your green friend Liz
- I do not like her Pam-she-is
- Would you ? Could you ? In a bar ?
- Meet her ! Meet her ! She's a star
- I would not
- could not
- in a bar
- You may like her
- She won't bite
- You may like her
- late at night !
- I would not could not late at night
- Not in a bar ! You are not right
- I do not like her by the hand
- I do not like her in the sand
- I do not like her at a park
- I do not like her in the dark
- I do not like her left or right
- I do not like her in my sight
- I do not like your green friend Liz
- I do not like her Pam-she-is
- A bed ! A bed !
- A bed ! A bed !
- Could you would you
- in a bed ?
- Not late at night ! Not in a bed !
- She's green I tell you! Toe to head !
- Would you kiss her
- on the mouth?
- I would not kiss her on the mouth !
- I would not kiss her North or South !
- I would not could not touch her hand
- I could not would not in the sand
- I will not meet her in the park
- I will not touch her in the dark
- I will not have her left or right
- I will not have her in my sight
- I do not like your green friend Liz
- I do not like her Pam-she-is
- You do not like her
- So you say
- Kiss her! Kiss her!
- Then you may
- Kiss her then you may I say
- Pam!
- If you will make her go
- I will kiss her
- So you know
- [.]
- [.]
- [.]
- Say!
- I like your green friend Liz !
- I do! I like her Pam-she-is !
[edit] Criminal Records
Dr. Seuss is prehaps most famous for the infamous bombings of New York. The notes found next to the bombs (he wasn't exactly good) were soon traced back to him. Only a few excepts were released to the public:
- I'll bomb the statue of liberty
- and blow it to the ground
- I'll destroy the nation's civilry
- and all our peaces found.
- I will not use a hoobacater
- Or a pot of oll ma mail
- I'll use a detonator
- and a motolov cocktail.
The FBI has stated they are still trying to figure out some of the things mentioned on the notes (such as hoozit and wabblefibs) and are afraid they may reveal to terrorists through some sort of code.
The last book written by Dr. Seuss was "Oh, the Places You'd Go if Only You Were as Rich as Me", published in 1991.
