Dr. Tran

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The Illustrious And Revered Dr. Tran
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For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article about Dr. Tran.

Life, The Universe, And Dr. Tran[edit]

Dr. Tran is the real life doctor hero of over 30,000 hit films, 4.3 quadrillion plays and/or short stories, and creator of the Sega Genesis. At only five years of age, the good doctor has performed open-heart surgery on an elderly woman while skydiving, single-handedly invented such words as potato and nipple, and solved the energy crisis by putting it into a closet and forgetting about it. Some believe he is immortal. Others believe he is a real American doctor/special agent with a P.H.D. in the kicking of Ass and the taking of Names.


Dr. Tran was born in Amarillo, China, somewhere near Arlington National Cemetery. Although he denies his medical profession and American heritage, he is, in fact, a real American action doctor. He is skilled in the arts of dance, action, suspense, chinese shit, yelling, howling, hollering, being loud, and profound silences. He drinks Mountain Dew 25 hours a day, 7 days a week. Therfore, he is constantly on the brink of a caffeine-and-sugar-induced coma. Using the energy from this perpetual sugar-high, he can scale small walls in a few minutes and contain anger for a few minutes longer than the average five-year-old.

Dr. Tran And His Stylish Alter-Form

Dr. Tran's hobbies include: spelunking, hunting grues, inventing media scares (ex. the Lead Paint Scare), hating on inferior humans, breakfast, creating motivational posters, and watching the Weather Channel.


Despite only being five years old, Dr. Tran's 30,000+ movies have grossed over 5 dollars in the box-office. His movies are currently distributed by the Super-Uber-Asian company, who also distribute Kurt Russell's independent films. His films vary greatly in subject matter, but all center on the fact that the boy is a doctor, an action hero, and his conflict with this fact. Here are a few examples:

  • Oh Shit, It's Dr. Tran
  • 3,2,1... Dr. Tran
  • Operation: Dr. Tran
  • Dr. Tran Doles Out The Harshness
  • Dr. Tran Has A Chat With A Mormon Child
  • Dr. Tran And His Views On Homosexuality
  • Dr. Tran Sets Fire To The Ocean
  • Dr. Tran Gets Sunburn
  • Dr. Tran Finally Enjoys Breakfast
  • Dr. Tran And The Fembots
  • Dr. Tran Buys Out iRaq
  • Dr. Tran Rides His Big-Wheel To 7-11
  • Dr. Tran Makes A Birdhouse
  • Dr. Tran Visits Satan
  • Dr. Tran Denounces The Existence Of Satan
  • Dr. Tran Inhales A Pixie-Stick
  • Dr. Tran And His Mother's New Boyfriend Argue
  • Dr. Tran Meets His Match
  • Dr. Tran Kills His Own Mother With A Broken Lawn Chair
Dr. Tran's Amazingly Life-Like Minature Unstable Noggin Toy


  • Dr. Tran's Hot Sauce
  • Dr. Tran's Normal Sauce
  • Dr. Tran's Amazingly Life-Like Minature Unstable Noggin Toy
  • Dr. Tran's Boat Engines
  • Dr. Tran's Floor Tile
  • Dr. Tran's Drain Cleaner / Toothpaste
  • Dr. Tran's VCR Dynamite
  • Dr. Tran's Peanut Butter Square Hula Quest
  • Dr. Tran's Lead Pillows (Work In Progress)
  • Dr. Tran's Belt Phone
  • Dr. Tran's Mint Gum
  • Dr. Tran's Thunderlight
  • Dr. Tran's Lamp Warmers
  • Dr. Tran's Xbox Acid
  • Dr. Tran's Wire Shoelaces
  • Dr. Tran's Amaze-An-Armadillo
  • Dr. Tran's Startle-A-Skunk
  • Dr. Tran's Confuse-A-Cougar
  • Dr. Tran's Fantasy Factory
  • Dr. Tran's EZ-Heat-With-A-Light Bulb Oven
  • And Many More!!


Although the revered doctor is primarily a pacifist/homophobe, Dr. Tran has amassed a large amount of enemies who would gladly kill him and/or have a nice breakfast with him. His adventures have taken him to the far reaches of space and time, and his enemies represent a large cross-section of the universe's population. He, like many intergalactic super-doctors, is very annoyed at the following of enemies he has accrued. He, in his undying wisdom, urges you to help him combat these evil-doers:

  • Me and Your Mom
  • Godzilla
  • Grues (both varieties)
  • The International Bankers and Terrorists Foundation
  • Toast
  • Satan
  • Earth, Wind, and Fire
  • Wiggers
  • All of the people at Arlington National Cemetery
  • CoolGuy
  • Small Children
  • Pool Parties
  • Abnormally-Shaped Buildings
  • Freakishly Ugly Children
  • Announcers
  • Narrators
  • Horse Butt Holes

“You...so bad...AHHH...NO WINDOWS IN YOUR HOUSE!!!”

~ Dr. Tran on The State Of Your Residence and Its Lack of Windows

See Also[edit]

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All-American Role Models and Rejects
Adam West | Aunt Jemima | Billy Mays | Blue Beetle | Bob Knight | Bob Saget | Bruce Campbell | Burger King | Cheese Jesus | Christopher Walken | Chuck Norris | Clint Eastwood | Count Chocula | Dolph Lundgren | Eric Cartman | George Carlin | The Green Hornet | Joe Camel | Hillary Clinton | Hanson | Knight Rider | MacGyver | Mr. T | Napoleon Dynamite | Pedobear | Pillsbury Doughboy | Rick Astley | Ronald McDonald | Sean Connery | Sarah Palin | Sloth | Trix Rabbit | Uncle Ben | Vanilla Ice | William Hung | Willy Wonka | Wonder Woman | Yogi Bear | Your Mom