Drunken Boxing

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"Come on, yeh bashtardsh, I'll take y'all on!" - Oscar Wilde at a PTA meeting.

[edit] Overview

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Every Shaolin Monk[1] who wants to make the final graduation (into the last and immortal rank of "Shaolin Nigga A+") must first creat his own kata to infuse into the Kung Fu world. Usually they (the monks) would hike out into the woods, or the meadows or Downtown San Fransico or Antartica and study the wild-life there and meditate on how a particular species defend themselves against predators. This is how the Dog, Monkey, Tiger, Panther, Dragon, Psychiatrist and Otto von Bismarck styles of Kung Fu originated.

The humble Monk, Wang Fo[2] travelled for 6944 li's (approx. 5 nautical fathoms)to find a unique style of his own. He eventually settled in a pub in Rio de Janeiro called Lord something-or-other (Wang Fo had forgotten to write the name down). Here, he witnessed an wonderous spectacle: a woman standing on a table, hollering and exposing her breasts. This was followed by a not-so-wonderous-but-still-pretty-neat spectacle of a duel between her drunken boyfriend and a man who tried to court the young maiden. As the fight progressed, the boyfriend got a sound thrashing[3] and the woman made off with the new suitor.

Wang Fo gathered the out-cold gentlman, snuck off before he could pay his tab and beseeched the strange now-single individual to teach him the impressive fighting style he was using before he accidentaly ran into a column (they both agreed he would have totally won if he had just missed that damn column).

Thus, going under the strange man's tutelage, Wang Fo unlocked the secrets of Drunken Boxing[4] and can be learned in any Secondary School, Shaolin Temple or Church Youth Assosiation.