Dukes of Dork
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Not to be confused with Dukes of York!!
Contents |
[edit] History
All through time, there have been Dukes of Dork. This is a high rank of stupidity, believed to be founded in the year 1846, on the Jupiter Mining Corp. Mining Vessel Red Dwarf. The founding father was a dude called "Dwayne Dibley". He decreed:
"From this day forward, we shall have Dukes like...Dukes of Dork...yeah, thats it!! There will be a Duke of Dork for every Town, Village, and Ship in this great cosmos thing!"
And to this day, it has been upheld, kinda....theres only been one Duke of Dork per year, but that has done fine.
[edit] Past Dukes of Dork
- Dwayne Dibley (Founding Father)
- You
- Margaret Thatcher
- George Dubya Bush
- George W. Bush
- You (WOW...you must really be liked if you were Duke of Dork twice!)
- Some peadophile
- Tony Blair
- Super Mario (He started the Duke Wars)
- Super Mime Strike Force (Yes, those n00bs who blew up Rainbow Elf Lord)
- Your Mom
- Some alien from the sperm nebula (BAD MISTAKE THAT WAS!!!)
[edit] ALL HAIL THE CURRENT DUKE OF DORK
The Current Duke of Dork, Duke Muhmajid Dorkhas led a Dork Coup against the Alien from Sperm Nebula Regime (This was known as the Battle of Dork). Now that Duke Muhmajid Dorkhas is in control, he can help with more US military blunders, usually involving the US Air Force and British Soldiers. The midget is often seen driving around iRaq with his older (and much bigger) brother, usually laughing at people on bicycles, and giving donkey's US Dollars to eat.
[edit] Duties of a Duke of Dork
Heres the list of duties for a Duke of Dork:
- Cleaning Nuclear Missile Launch Keys
- Making sure the United States don't start becoming more intelligent
- Making sure France keeps that wine coming
- Ensuring peace in Northern Ireland
- Swimming the English Channel every Saturday
- Sleep
- Eat
- Don't get assasinated
- Read the Porno of Dork on a daily basis
- Slapping the guy in fgure 1 repeatedly
[edit] The Duke War
To be honest, this wasn't really a war, it was just a really big bitch fight....with nuclear weapons. It is unknown who started it, and who ended it, but 3,000 people died as a result. In the town of Little Shittington, the "Confederacy of Dork" imposed martial law, and made the consumption of fizzy drinks illegal. Any citizen found drinking fizzy drinks was arrested, and imprisoned in an unknown prison camp somehwere in the Uranus Mountains.
After a month of these atrocities, the Super Mime Strike Force did.....nothing....and some unknown Duke of Dork wannabe decided to step in. This resulted in a whole string of violence around the world, resulting in the death of several thousand people, including Duke Some Peadophile of Dork. All confederate transport vehicles, usually transporting packets of Hula Hoops, were destroyed on sight. This was the end of the quick but bloody Duke War.