Taking a dump

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

“I feel good”

~ James Brown on Taking a dump

“Everyone poops... Except me... in fact I don't even have an anus. ”

~ Oscar Wilde on Taking a dump

Taking a dump is often related to the act of stealing a car. Once you start it, you want to get out of it as fast as you can. The act is more common in countries such as Cambodia, Vietnam, Mordor and Yugoslavia. Unfortunately, this act has been prohibited in more backwards countries, such as the US and Heaven.

[edit] Origins

Partaking the act of dumping began after Adam ate the apple. Not only was it the result of sin, the apple had to exit somehow. The methods of taking a dump have slowly been modernized with inventions such as the bush, the toilet and holes in the ground. The current trend for taking a dump is to do it directly into a sewer. Not only does this save flush water, it will build up your immune system (Note to beginners: Beware of fatal diseases when first trying this method).

[edit] Notable dumping places

• Your mom
• Your bath
• Your shower
• Your toilet
• A hole in the ground
• U.S. Democrats - They want YOUR shit
• Sauron's face
• A girl's Chest
• A cup, provided there is 2 girls to go with it.
• On Captain D or in his restaurant

[edit] Opposing parties

The "Dump Under Mike's Porch" (D.U.M.P.) was an organisation of rebelling toilets who had "Taken too much shit". They have demonstated in many major cities such as New York, Washington DC and Flushing Meadows. The party's philosophy was "To encourage taking dumps under others porches and not in us, giving rights back to toilets and not giving us shit." Unfortunately, 500 activists were brutally murdered by the Mafia in their last riot, causing the organisation to shut down.

Two year ago, the leader of D.U.M.P., Seymour Butts, created a new organisation known as Stop Harrasment of International Toilets (S.H.I.T.)