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A boy putting his finger in a Dyke

Warning! This is NOT an article about dicks![edit]

When talking about the Dutch one instantly gets thoughts of windmills, wooden shoes but most of all, dykes.

The Netherlands, being the home of the Dutch, lie under sea level. Apparently the Dutch haven't heard of God, since they felt it was necessary to create land themselves.

Even right now as we speak the land still lies under sea level thanks to a phenomenon the Dutch call dykes.

Dykes lay on their backs and are usually wet on one side. If one finds a hole in a dyke the proper way to handle it is to put your finger in it as quickly as you can. (leading the example of the infamous Hansje Brinker who did the same to prevent the land from being flooded.) Dutch dykes prefer girls putting their finger in their wet hole.

When the water at one side of the dyke is very high and the dyke is about to break, there will be massive evacuations. But this will only be announced in Dutch so all the immigrants will drown. This is an order from the 'Man from Mars', Rita Verdonk. In this situation the famous Dutch Army will place sandbags all over the country, so they finally have something to do instead of watching porn.

Another problem with dykes is the incessent name. People, whenever they hear the word dyke, think: "A Ha! thats not a dyke, it's a dick! The Dutch don't like that.