“What the fux man? That Scottish douche took my moneys again!”
“Students don't deserve EMA, it comes out of my motherfucking taxes motherfucker!”
EMA (Easy Money Allowance/Extra money for alcohol) is a weekly grant for students at the age of 16-19, who continue in further education after their GCSE exams. It is paid in by the government thanks to the average working man's taxes. Around 97.6% of taxes are used to fund student's EMA allowance.
Conflicts with 'Richard Regan'
As of lately there has been a menace tampering with the input of EMA payments to students bank accounts, and all evidence point's to the self acclaimed "Scottish Douchebag", who goes by the code name of Richard Regan. His birth name is currently unknown but we suspect it be something along the lines of "Mr Pink", who was deemed to be a 'faggot' according to the film Reservoir Dogs. Regan did insist he be called "Mr Purple", but was refused by his boss.
“"Why am i Mr. Pink?"”
“"Because you're a faggot, alright?"”
This seemed to be brushed off very lightly by the 'faggot', but as everyone in the 'room' had clicked onto, he was not OK with his new rank of faggotry. This later drove Mr Pink to insanity, later refusing waitresses (who are on minimum wage) tips because "he doesn't believe in it". But the real reason is he won't part with any spare change, nor his taxes to students.
A mere 15 years after he was given his Code Name, Regan seemed to strike back with a vengeance, saving himself, and only himself £1.1k by preventing 11 students, from South Tyneside College, their 3rd annually bonuses. This was due to him not receiving enough 'oral sex' from the student Reehad, but he covers the story up with the excuse of misplaced coursework and assignments. So far this has shown to have more of an effect on the world, than the 9/11 attacks.
This has resulted in Millions of pounds of debt, because of dip-shit students not being able to pay off their debts, for items such as High-Def TVs and Xbox 360's. As well as gallons and gallons of Petrol for their souped up to the max cars, but this was only for the minority of people in the college, their names will remain confidential at this time.
“"If i was in England I'd cap that motherfucker Regan!"”
“"That motherfucker needs discharged, with a motherfucker spanner, bitch."”
There is an upcoming court case, where the students act as their own lawyers, in defence of their losses. Richard will be handicapped in this case, as the ratio of angry students to idiot lecturers is 11:1. The trial will be held on November the 13th, 2012. It has been delayed many times thanks to the work on Al-Qaeda sabotaging the students plans of action, and using them to create highly sought after weapons of mass destruction, as a certain British ink used to create bombs, can not be purchased within 200 square miles of Baghdad.
What to do if you see a "Regan"?
Zip up your pockets, check them regularly, for he may steal everything you own.
A rumour was started recently that Regan uses this quote regularly each Valentines day.
“roses are redish
violets are blueishwe'd all be jewishLOL
If it wasn't for hitler