Easy Bake Oven

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A poor girl who has already been brainwashed.

The Easy-Bake Oven was created as a Government conspiracy in 1963 under then-President Lyndon B. Johnson.


An early version of the brainwasher.

The oven was produced in an underground bomb shelter deep in the heart of Sandusky, Ohio. There is much speculation concerning the choice of location; some say it was chosen because of it's secrecy factor, although the more widely accepted theory is that it was in the same state as the Kenner Toy Company which would sell it after completeion.

Conspiracy Factor[edit]

The Easy-Back Oven was part part of an elaborate conspiracy plotted out by President Johnson who was a Democrat. Johnson had just taken over for Kennedy who was killed as part of another conspiracy devised by Johnson. The basis of the oven was to create a device which had lots of appeal to a younger audience as to bring in new Democratic voters. The food items which could be made in the oven were mostly cocain-laced pastries and treats with high amounts of lead. The idea was that the kids would be so high that they would believe what the Democrats had to say.

The Backfire[edit]

Once President Johnson's term was over it was time to see if all the hard work had payed off. It was, however, at this point when the schemers realized they had been idiots because it was apparent that the kids they had sckrewed up were too young to vote. This did not detur the tricky beasts though because they continued to produce the oven under a new company name-Hasbro.

Between Then And Now[edit]

Not much happened between the time of Johnson and the Time of Clinton however there is one event worth noting. In 1973 Potato Chips for the oven were introduced in an attempt to appeal to a wider audience. Althogh many Republicans were President during these times the oven was kept a secret-being housed in small, dark, smokey rooms in Washington D.C..

Modern Day Oven[edit]

The conspiracy continues.

The Oven took a turn during the Clinton Administration, which is ironic considering the first victims were now old enough to vote; this probably lead to him being elected. In 1997 in one of those dark, smokey rooms a group of conspirators sat around a table discussing the future of the oven. In the room was Bill Clinton, Tony The Tiger, The Green, Yellow, and Red M&Ms, the creator of Dunkin' Donuts and three people from Oreo. This information only deepens the conspiracy because at this time foods from each of thos ecompanies began to be available for the easy bake oven. Another "improvement" if you will came at this time; most of the treats were now coated in hash or crystal meth or even heroin in an attempt to deepen the effects.

On The M&M aspect an interesting note can be made; the Blue M&M did not attend this meeting and is now a Jazz playing chump. The interesting thing about this is that Jazz music has been called "Anti-Democrat" because of their blantant distaste for reaching into one's soul.

A side note on Clinton: He was and is a huge fan of Kitten Huffing which some say has relavence to the easy bake conspiracy although I do not see it.

In 2003 after Clinton had left office and George Bush had taken over the Democrats continued their conspiracy. The oven now had more than just pastries. You could now make macaroni and cheese, pizza, and french fries.

The oven and the 2008 election[edit]

Many people who know the nature of the conspiracy are worried that the oven may have brought in enough voters to wipe out the Republican Party in the upcoming election; this would be a tragedy for our country. Hopefully someone will be able to prove the truth, something which has allowed the conspiracy to stay so hidden all these years, and stop the damage before it happens.