Eco-holism

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Not to be confused with the closely related term alcoholism.

An eco-holic.

Eco-holism is a way of life that purports to regard the world around us in a holistic fashion and maintain a deep concern for the natural environment. Eco-holists, or imitation greenies as they are otherwise known, are alert to environmental and social issues, and are often activists. While eco-holism appears to be similar to deep ecology, eco-holists usually only have a superficial understanding of the environment, having forgot most of what they learned in biology due to extensive partying in the 80's. Although the term 'shallow ecology' may come closer to describing the eco-holist philosophy, the term drunken ecology would probably be more accurate.

Diet[edit]

Eco-holists often subsist on a vegetarian diet, interspersed with occasional helpings of steak. Many grow their own organic vegetable gardens, producing both food and 'other vegetables'. This diet is supplemented with large volumes of alcohol, which provides the majority of the eco-holists caloric intake. Any non-alcoholic items bought from supermarkets must contain a suitable label, such as 'organic certified', 'fair trade', or the somewhat vague 'holism friendly'. The average eco-holist household produces enough beer bottles annually to adorn several cathederals.

Behavior[edit]

Promiscuity is often tolerated in relationships, the partner of an eco-holist often being unsure what they got up to the night before themselves. Eco-holists hold regular parties, which are attended by all the local hippies, greenies, eco-feminists, and anyone else wanting to get drunk and/or laid. While many eco-holists are conscious of the problems caused by the world's growing population, and have a vague understanding of carrying capacity, most end up having several children as a result of drunken accidents. whatever

Philosophy[edit]

Eco-holists, while superficially resembling hippies, are far more materialistic. While they often condemn materialism (both economic and philosophical, the latter for its links to evil reductionism), and often advocate recycling and public transport, most are just as addicted to consumerism as the general population, and almost all of them secretly aspire to own a BMW or Mercedes. Eco-holists maintain no formal religion, though paganism, spiritualism and various new age religions are popular. Yoga is often practiced, both for its spiritual dimension and its application in future sexual encounters. Eco-holists unanimously support their national Green party, though their primary reason for doing so is to have cannabis decriminalized, not that locals laws could stop them from smoking large quantities of it.