Edinburgh Military T.A.T.U.
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A Celebration of all forms of Bi and Homosexuality in the British armed services. Held every year during the Edinburgh Festival. A number of people think that even if Edinburgh wasn't at war with Glasgow, this festival's existance would have caused, at least, a minor skirmish.
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[edit] Founding
The T.A.T.U. (Twats and Transsexuals) was started by the noted libertine HRH Prince Philip, The Duke of Edinburgh (b. 1921), because "I Loves to see some booty".
[edit] Participants
Original only the Royal Navy sent a team (as they were the first to give up the polite fiction that there were no homosexuals within their ranks), it has now been extended to all arms of the military, (except the Coast-Guard who claim to be analogous to Star Fleet and thus not a military force).
[edit] Events
There are a number of events and an individual contestant plays for not only his/her arm of the military (i.e. Army, RAF, the Royal Navy, Royal Marines, Keele University, *, Royal Mail**) and their sexual clique (i.e. Gay Men, Lesbian, Bisexual, Bicurious, Transgender, Ann Widecombe).
The events:
- Caber toss
- Left hand down-a-bit
- Sheaf toss
- Tug of war
- Shot put
- Hammer throw
- Spot the Cruiser
- Stone walk
- Bitch slap
- evening gowns competition
* Obviously the Navy has to sneak in two teams now.
** It has been pointed out that the Royal Mail is not a military service, however all who did so found that their post kept getting delayed and all packages marked fragile sent to them had suspicious Transit van tyre tracks on them so they stopped pointing this out.
[edit] Usually Winners
Amongst the Services the Navy are usually the winners although the Army are getting stronger and stronger as the thought of being surrounded by lots of sweaty men AND being able to go shopping whenever you want gains appeal. Unsurprisingly, the lesbians excel in most of the events (they are women after all) although Ann Widecombe was the shock winner last year. As a sign of respect for alternate lifestyles, the winner of the contest was also awarded the British military's lamest prize: Her Majesty's Royal Flying Rat's Ass
