Editing orgasm

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Climax.


Editorial Orgasms are involuntary and extremely messy cranial (and indeed, genital) purges which result from the spastic, repeated, and unconstituted editing of Wiki articles. Uncyclopedia members, unfortunately, cannot experience this phenomena, as they are all eunuchs anyways. During an Editorial Orgasm, the editor in question undergoes unexpected and usually violent cerebral and genital eruption and a numbness in the fingers and toes.

Human male editing orgasm[edit]

During an editorial orgasm, a human male experiences rapid, rhythmic contractions of the brain, the prostate, and the concept of conscious reality, in other words, the penis. These contractions typically force stored flatulence to be exploded through the brain's oral opening. The process generally takes from three to ten seconds, and is usually considered painfully inconvenient to all others in the room. The editor will then usually pass out for a few hours and wake up wondering where he is, and just who the fuck flung raspberry jam all over the carpet...

Orgasm is achieved after direct stimulation of the Wiki article for a period of time. This stimulation can be caused by [[Pothead excessive marijuana use]], manual de-braining, fellatio, or a boot to the head. As a man ages, it is normal for the amount of articles he edits to diminish, and hence, the length of time the man sustains editorial orgasm also diminishes somewhat. This does not normally affect the experience of orgasm, but merely causes it to be a bloody waste of clean furniture, and everyone's time...

Following editorial ejaculation, a refractory period usually occurs during which a man cannot achieve another orgasm, nor would he wish to. This period can be anywhere from less than a minute to over several months, depending on age, libido, intelligence, education, height, weight, sexual preference (oh you better believe I went there), his favourite food, his favourite sports team, the number of cups of coffee he has had in the past 12 hours, what he owes the bank, and other relatively variable factors, such as the number hours a day he spends on Uncyclopedia, "practicing".

Orgasmic sensation[edit]

As a man nears orgasm during overstimulation of the brain, he feels an intense pulsating sensation of ...for lack of a better word, dumb. It is believed that the exact feeling of "orgasm" varies from one man to another, but all agree that it is usually disappointing, and nothing to quit your day job for.

Human female orgasm[edit]

Girls...? On Uncyclopedia?


...


Where?


Anal editorial orgasm[edit]

An anal editing orgasm is a editorial climax brought on through fundamentally anal editorial opinions, resulting either from an inserted finger, or the steadily growing number of pretentious n00bs typing 'gay as fuck' or other some such lewd remark all over painstakingly re-edited Wiki articles. Anal editing orgasms usually result in the complete shut-down of all higher brain function, the leakage of dark-red liquid from the ears, the sudden and gratuitous explosion of one of the editors testicles, and the need for a stiff drink and a cigarette.

Simultaneous orgasm[edit]

A rare phenomenon in which a singular article is simultaneously edited by two (or more, really) Wiki users, thus resulting in the complete and total annihilation of both their brains, from the frustration this usually causes.

Orgasm in non-humans[edit]

You ever seen a turtle use a fucking keyboard, son?!?!?




See also[edit]