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Those obsessed with so-called experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia does not have an article about Egotrons.

Egotrons are dark matter subatomic particles that are found orbiting around the heads of certain scientists (esp. physicists and MD/PhDs). In 2005, physicists working on the Theory of everything found these particles exhibit erratic behavior not found in any other particle. In rigorus scientific tests, they found that particles tend to ramp up in speed around scientists who are working on what are refered to in the scientific community as long-winded reports. The behavior is also exhibited in physicists who are working on string theory and the theory of everything.

The behavior is refered to as "wanking" As the subject continues to work and as the work begins to get more and more complex, the particles accelerate (wank) faster and faster. At the completion of a work, some egotrons are known to slow their orbits. In others, they maintain contant accelerated speed. Those subjects whose Egotrons do not slow down are refered to scientifically as "wankers".

Some theorists believe that these particles will be found not just in other field of study but in other walks of life. Some are beginning studies on reality TV stars.

Dr. Stephen Hawking has refused to take any of these tests claiming "The science is false. I, personally, do not believe it is physically possible to wank."