Ehtheists
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Ehtheism is reportedly the national religion of Canadia. This, however, is not confirmed, as no reputable anthropologist has confirmed the existence of Canadia. Therefore, little is known about Ehtheism. Rumours suggest that the religion revolves around maple syrup, hockey, and beer, which are central to their daily rituals. Few Ehtheists survive. The ones who do survive, grow up to be old grouchy socialists, who hate the American government.
[edit] Beliefs
Ehtheists attend regular Sunday masses, where they eat blessed poutine and watch Canadian Football (which is frankly pathetic). They believe that It's fucking cold eh! and are always on the lookout for the great evildoer, Thee. They have also been known to burn Canadian money , because it's worthless.
[edit] The Six Pillars of Ehtheism
- There is no god but John A. Macdonald and Stephen Harper is His prophet.
- Ehtheists must pray five times per day while facing towards Ottawa.
- Ehtheists must give 2.5% of their earnings to the Canadian Government, which is distributed among the poor.
- Ehtheists must fast during the month of June, which will end with a feast on Canada Day (July 1).
- Ehtheists must go on a pilgrimage to Ottawa at least once in their life. An Ehtheist who is ill or in debt is not required to go on a pilgrimage.
- Ehtheists must drink beer with every meal.
[edit] See also
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