Elastic Trout

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Unknown until very recently, Elastic Trout are becoming a new commodity for Fishermen and Fisheries Councils everywhere. Found in the Northern Atlantic, most commonly found skimming along the seabed, feeding on Jellyfish and Whale Poo. These fish have a number of unusual properties, most notably, the ability to change their dimensions much like an Octopus. This enables them to escape from various situations, such as house repossesion and repeats of Friends on the TV.

Dwarf Octane[edit]

This is the prime reason for gathering these fish, as this Oil, rendered from their juicy lips and their wobbly tummies, is over 15 times more energy effiecient than its close cousin, Hydrocarbons. We here @ Uncyclopedia believe that these fish, if farmed in controlled conditons and with just the right amount of Tuna Sandwhiches and Pints of Bitter, could revolutionise the World as we know it. Think of it, a world powered by Dwarf Octane. Micro capsules of energy and little or no emmisions. Our world could be very different indeed.

Punting the Hydrocarbons[edit]

This refers to what Scientists (™) believe to be the process by which this extraordinary fish reverts base Hydrocarbons into Dwarf Octane. A series of small and delicate Bilge pumps, steadily digest the Hydrocarbons and remove base files of 3. This makes no sense to me either, but then, im not a Scientist (™).

Basically, this fish is an Oil Concentrator.

Large Living Allowance[edit]

In deepest Asia, i think, there is a place were men and horses have trained these fish to live in the Petrol Tanks of Officials cars. This new trend see's these vehicles return mileages to the gallon in the hundreds. Unbelievably, but somehow, not surprisingly, we have no reason to believe anything these guys say to us. After all, i cannot see them from my front yard, so how do i know they exist.

To Summarise[edit]

TO summarise, i would like to thank the Oceanography Boat that stayed in Oban on the West Coast of Scotland in the early 80's, for its late but welcome contribution to this article. Without them , it surely would never have happened. I would also like to thank the Large Oil Companies that i consulted on the issue of the Elastic Trout, and to thank them for their court orders and general denial of the facts. --Skull fcuk 12:53, 9 June 2006 (UTC)