Eliot Spitzer

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

“Diamond Girls are Forever!”

~ Eliot Spitzer

Client 9 (born 6/9/69) is an American gigolo who plays the picolo. Born L.E.-Ott Spitz-Cunnilingus, he used to be a member of the Suck-It-Out Party, where he bragged about his "pointed bullet," giving it the nickname "The Spitz". Said "pointed bullet" landed him in trouble when it was revealed that he had an affair with Ashley Alexandra "Sing 'N Swing" Dupre.

Client 9 after having some bad semen.

He attended Princeton University for his undergrad and Hahvad University for Meeting Really Hot Women. It was there that he met his future wife, Silda "I'm going to freaking KILL you!!!" Spitzer, who is currently meeting with one Tony Soprano of New Joisey to discuss her husband's immediate future. After studying for the bar one weekend when the Giants were out of town, he joined Some Law Firm in order to make the world a better place and to make lots and lots of dough. Apparently he has a fascination with bread. Or something. Two years later, he found himself pursuing crime. And pursuing it. And pursuing it...

After having sexy shenanigans with some sexy hookers, he quit his job and now plays Lead Picolo in his very own band 'Spitz in Your Mouth'.

"Solid gold condoms" found in Ashley Alexandra Dupre's home. Gov. Eliot Spitzer denied owning them claiming they were too big to fit him.

This article needs more work. See ICU and below for details. This page will be re-checked on 15 May 2008 (tagged 1 May), and if not improved will face deletion.

This page needs some content! Try to make sure that: It looks like a real encyclopedia article. Ya know, with words and stuff. It has sections, paragraphs, and maybe an image or two. It has links to other articles. It has a body to go with its soul.

Ashley Alexandra Dupre is now in counseling for severe sexual abuse after Spitzer admitted to raping her by paying her for sex