Today's Message of pain
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Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.
It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...
Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.
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Did you care...
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- ...that the average male under 30 thinks about sex on average every 9 seconds and that the average person over 50 thinks about outliving their retirement income on average every 5 seconds?
- ...that the average male under 30 thinks about sex on average every 9 seconds and that the average person over 50 thinks about outliving their retirement income on average every 5 seconds?
- ...that the average male under 30 thinks about sex on average every 9 seconds and that the average person over 50 thinks about outliving their retirement income on average every 5 seconds?
- ...that the average male under 30 thinks about sex on average every 9 seconds and that the average person over 50 thinks about outliving their retirement income on average every 5 seconds?
- ...that the average male under 30 thinks about sex on average every 9 seconds and that the average person over 50 thinks about outliving their retirement income on average every 5 seconds?
- ...that the average male under 30 thinks about sex on average every 9 seconds and that the average person over 50 thinks about outliving their retirement income on average every 5 seconds?
- ...that the average male under 30 thinks about sex on average every 9 seconds and that the average person over 50 thinks about outliving their retirement income on average every 5 seconds?
- ...that the average male under 30 thinks about sex on average every 9 seconds and that the average person over 50 thinks about outliving their retirement income on average every 5 seconds?
- ...that the average male under 30 thinks about sex on average every 9 seconds and that the average person over 50 thinks about outliving their retirement income on average every 5 seconds?
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Recent deaths
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- Trig mourns grandmommy's loss
- Altria achieves revenge on Reader's Digest
- Marriot says, "The slut begged for it"
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Today sucks because...
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November 24: Pete Best's Birthday ( US, UK)
 - 1601 - Pilgrims celebrate the first Thanksgiving. Pete Best wonders why there is no Thanksgiving in the UK until he realizes that The English have nothing to give thanks for.
- 1859 - The great prophet Charles Darwin publishes his manifesto The Origin of Species, predicting the eventual birth of Pete Best.
- 1941 - Pete Best is kicked out of mother's womb.
- 1946 - Teacher sends note home to Best's parents, complaining about his sullenness and unwillingness to play bass with other children.
- 1951 - Mother auditions George Best as possible replacement in the family.
- 1955 - Learns to play drums. Snares, bass and drumsticks go off and socialize with one another, leaving Best out.
- 1960 - Makes trip to Germany; greeted with cries of "Rammstein forever, Pete Best never!"
- 1961 - Plays with Tony Sheridan; burns Virginia with Phil Sheridan.
- 1962 - The Beatles record demo version of "Love Me Do;" original chorus of "We hate our fucking drummer" goes unnoticed.
- 1962 - George Harrison stares icily at Best during a performance; Paul McCartney kicks his drum set during rehearsal; John Lennon hires Brian Epstein solely to fire Best.
- 1962 - George Martin brings Ringo Starr in to shout incoherently over Best's drum parts; later uses it as an excuse to fire Best.
- 1962 - Best kicked out of the Beatles.
- 1963 - Best kicked out of house;
- 1964 - Best kicked out of England; Elizabeth II says her kingdom "wants to go in a new direction."
- 1968 - Best briefly kicked back into Beatles when Ringo leaves during White Album sessions; quits when he realizes he'll lose his job a second time to a guy named "Ringo."
- 1970 - John, Paul, George and Ringo join Best in the "Ex-Beatles" group.
- 1971 - Alice Cooper jumps from a plane and disappears, after collecting a ransom which includes US$200,000 and a Pete Best box set.
- 1980 - Best kicks it old school.
- 1984 - Fozzie Bear tragically dies of a heart-attack.
- 1991 - Seven years after the song was released, Freddie Mercury breaks free and moves to the Moon.
- 1993 - David Dickinson makes headline news after cutting off negotiations to be in the Doom video game.
- 1995 - Release of Beatles Anthology allows new generation of fans to kick Pete Best around.
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Poets of the Month
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Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.
Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).
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The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.
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Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!
Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers
You have less than a week, just 6 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!
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