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Emo-Hitler in 1946.

“His brave actions were truly inspirational! I'd have never written A Woman Of No Importance without Emo-Hitler”

~ Oscar Wilde on Emo Hitler

“EmoHitler slit the other nations' wrists during WWII.”

~ Pauly Shore on probably drugs or Emo-Hitler

Emo-Hitler is the latest incarnation of the Third Reich's brutal overlord.


Historians believe that Hitler's mother's penis and his hero Megatron were invovled in a brutal affair with each other, resulting in the birth of Hitler. They were attempting to create a part human/super-robot race that would take over the world as we know it. And so training for the young, beautiful, handsome, innocent Hitler began. After years of brutal beatings and brutal rape at the hands of his mother, Hitler began to cut himself and wear black, because it was really his colour. His crack whore girlfriend tried to stop hi society) shortly after his remaining friends were hanged for crimes against humanity in 1946, and marking his first official appearance as the self-styled Emo-Hitler.

Once it was destroyed by the now unsuppressed and given up people that were far from pubertal now, the pain was less and not as absolute, nor was the fear of retaliation but it is not seen many times giving speeches on Wednesday nights shows of life are the only real things; if not, he is working on his new band, the stragglers ", they are actually jet in their blackness, and happened to really love Pringles!

Acromegaly was supported through the compulsory use of growth hormones on teenaged peoples of the 50's and it spawned the understanding that a few of post Nazi Germans have shared to create Goth anm, but he pimp slapped her down repeatedly, as he like to keep his bitches in line. She never broke up with him or gave up the lifestyle, because if she had, then Hitler would have declared her an Untermensch and killed her. Hitler nearly committed suicide, but instead he fled in a secret base under the South Pole, were his closest allies were known to frequent. A famous cartoon character Mr. Ross was formed after a beastly circle jerk session, and heavily propagandized amongst the marked market however it was more popular than expected and short term gains clung to after the point of worth. His earlier defeats, combined with his desolate surroundings, led to a permanent state of depression and feelings of invincibility, for a Germany is gay's Führer of new culture this was a chance to express arrogance and lack of fertility. He was first prominent in creating armies of jet blackened genetically modified men, with trained timing and absolute jurisdiction that could be counted upon with their sole duty of suppressing and secresizing those of known intellectual and stylistic threat (due to prolonged deleterious thwarts on part of the upcoming but terribly emotionally crippled pre-pubertals of the era {1980-89}, underclass modern worldednessd the delicious Emo manifestations that now exist. Wankers.

A New Führer for a New Time[edit]

Emo-Hitler in 2005.

Depressed by the triumph of Bolshevism, Hitler decided to quit the political game and instead he began to think of himself as a poet and musician. His first poem, OH NO! MEIN REICH HAS FALLEN! served as an emotional release for Hitler. In it, he described in lurid detail murdering his political and military opponents. His next effort, Happy Song for Blondi, was dedicated to his loyal pooch. Hitler became further depressed when he found out that Reichminister Goebbels had not really taken Blondi to a "beautiful, beautiful farm" out in the Bavarian countryside, and had instead put her to sleep after raping her numerous times. Thankfully, she was to emerge from this deep sleep later to reincarnate as Paris Hilton, whose secret lover is Geoff Christmas, a fact not generally well known asdf

Celebrity Gay Banger[edit]

Fan-art of Emo-Hitler. Created around 1941

After Hitler's ongoing relationship with his beloved donkey, Nejo, the Japanese Contortionist, who later left Hitler to get some cheeseburgers, he fell into a deep depression which is explained again in the next sentence. ass ass and more ass is the last thing nejo the japanese contortionist donkey (mind you he's male!) said to HITLER. ...... which later caused hitler to fall into a deep depression once again until he fell in love with Jude, he handed out special badges to express his love for Jude. Any one who hated on Jude was sent to Concentration Camps, and forced to wear jude badges as a reminder of how epically pwn JUDE IS. Most of these judpenise star wearing bastards were commonly known as "JEWS". after the camps began to over flow with hatred for "JUDE" he decided to to tell these "Jews" that they would return home when really he led them into giant oven set to 232, promising an epic party that would really be the fire of there life! well atleast he warned them... any ways onto more depression. In the depths of his deepest depression after losing the "open-mic lyric contest" at Uncle Joe's College to American BJ-Owens and the mysterious "rapper" The Rhapsodist, Hitler found relief in the song "Every Rose has its Thorn". He was amazed at the connection he could make between his emotional suffering and the pain laid out in the song, but as he's a useless, emoy cunt, that's not a huge shock to anyone. After freestyling with legendary rap star James Cobb, Emo-Hitler was offered the post of director of the Office of Multicultural Affairs, which he accepted. He then put aside his dreams for a career in man porn. He performed countless dirty acts on Celebrities like John Travolta, Justin Timberlake, and 50 inches. Five years later, when he was twenty, his father raided Hitler's Enzyte stash for an penis exciting evening with his 1,000th wife Jean. In anger, Hitler stole his father's secret stash of crack and got high. Hitler stole his father's M-16 and started blowen the fuck out of his daddy, who shouted "oh yea Adolf, you have women's lips. Blow me like you blow your transgender underage manwhore". Then, Emo Hitler was so depressed he slit his wrists and yelled in pain. He needed something to get his mind off the pain, so he started to masturbate his tiny emo cock. The pleasure healed his body and soul. He then thanked the God of Emos, Skiizzor, and then he started his art career all over again. You can see his semi-famous painting "Weh mir, oh weh", depicting a man raping a snake in a pit of sewage. The meaning behind this painting is still unknown, as well as it's relation to it's name, but if a liberal fag paints something, what do you expect?

Recent History[edit]

Emo-Hitler poses for a poster promoting his new clothing line, called "Out to Auschwitz", was to be sold in stores but cancelled.

Hitler was never actually emo; He was more of a gothic wanna be...oh wait, that's emo. After his many efforts to destroy the Jews he forgot to slit his wrists on a daily basis, leading to a series of long and painful battles with his mother-in-law. The Emocaust was a dreadful occasion when Hitler and his misunderstood friends put all of the people would did not understand them in cages and then proceeded to play Red Jumpsuit Apparatus at them, in hopes to turn them emo, too. But the people were not pathetic losers and did not start crying in the dark. Emo-Hilter was so infuriated by this that he slit all of their wrists and then attempted suicide in a misguided call for attention.

In October 2005, as a result of his increased web-presence in this article, Emo-Hitler started his own Livejournal so that the world might be better informed of his accomplishments. Which included touching little boys, raping his dog, goats, and mice daily, and sticking pineapples up his ass. His page can be reached here [1], and is entitled "the Crying Wolf".

In April 2006, Emo-Hitler made one more attempt at Gangsta Rap... with a twist. He addepenisd some emoness to which tasted good too. Here is an excerpt from one of his new songs entitled Steve Hitler:

It's H to the itler ya'll
H to the Izzle
Jews to the showers
Slit mein wrizzle and suck das dizzle
I ain't fronting.
Imma really do it, frau
Imma do it right now.
I done it once and I do it again
Ich bin going to fokkin' kill that fizzle

Though most people aren't aware of it, Emo-Hitler's moustache cuts itself(as well as his lawn), making him able to look good any day of the week. After Trinny and Suzanne tried to tell Hitler "What not to Wear", he locked himself in his shower room for two weeks and wondered why there was no water coming out of the pipes. That was until, he accidentally gased himself with what he thought was a My Chemical Romance CD, and then found himself reincarnated into a Jewish family as a Bisexual Nerd with a slight Lazy Eye and false leg.

Music Career[edit]

Emo Hitler has announced in July 2009 that he is going to be forming an Emo style rock band. It will consist of Heinrich 'No More Tears' Himmler on drums/keyboard, and Emo Hitler playing guitar and vocals. Emo Hitler said; 'It was great to work with Himmler on this project, especially after our last one went so poorly.' Emo Hitler and No More Tears Himmler will be recording over the next year with a 2010 release planned. Hitler says; 'I like my lyrics to have a theme, usually death and crying. I don't write from my heart, I write from my cold, neglected soul. When people ask me how I feel when I write, I tell them to fuck off and leave me the hell alone. I just wanna be left alone. Because I'm Adolf Hitler, Im the boy who lived! All I have is my stupid friend Ronny the Bear and that girl Harmony." Rumor has it, Harmony has the hots for Emo Hitler.