Encyclopaedia Metallum

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“Fuck them, they're all assholes!”

~ Slipknot fanboy on the user base of Encyclopaedia Metallum

Encyclopaedia Metallum, also known as The Metal Archives, is a website featuring over 72000 submitted metal bands including 71700 bands you never heard of, over 41000 that are still active, and over 24000 that aren't active. It is known as a major breeding ground for trve and kvlt metalheads, who discuss their tastes and submit review for albums. It was originally a collection of books written by two Canadians who eventually ran out of writing ink and put the collection on the internet instead.

The Users[edit]

To many, the user base of Encyclopaedia Metallum was said to be comprised of 75% assholes, 20% trolls, 4% musically talented, and 1% girls. However, after a more in depth investigation, it was revealed that most of the users on Encyclopaedia Metallum are a higher group of pseudo-intellectuals that handle trolls in a simple manner. Any topics started with stupidity on the site's forums are handled in any of the following ways:

  • The other users play along with the topic starter using extreme sarcasm
  • The other users tell the topic starter to simply Get Out
  • The thread gets locked by a moderator before anyone replies (the topic starter is usually banned)
  • "FFA material"
Typical humor at Encyclopaedia Metallum's forums

Bands Considered "Not Metal" According to Encyclopaedia Metallum[edit]

Through Encyclopaedia Metallum's band acceptance policy, several bands that a great populace of scene kids thought were metal were deemed not metal according to the moderators and admins of The Metal Archives. Some examples of common bands that aren't really metal bands are listed below.

Metalhead facts concluded from Encyclopaedia Metallum[edit]

In addition to already known facts about metalheads, Encyclopaedia Metallum proves and denies these new facts about metal and metalheads.

This is what happens to you if you spend too much time on the Metal Archives
  1. Slayer really isn't as good as people say they are.
  2. Real Metalheads would rather listen to an obscure band like Mütiilation than a popular band like Cradle of Filth
  3. Rush is officially a metal band.
  4. Metalheads love alcohol.

External Links[edit]