Ender's Gay

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Stop X.png Vanity for deletion
This Non-Notable/Slanderous/Self-Aggrandizing/Slander/Injoke vanity page is (as far as we can tell) NOT allowed under Uncyclopedia Vanity Policies, and has been put on VFD.
Check out this page's entry to vote on its fate.

Ender's Gay is an alternately sentimental and grizzly account of a highly emotive kid who learns to kill everything in sight, worship a Goddess, and develope an incestuous relationship with his sister. Written by crazy Mormon cult leader Orson Scott Card.


Spoiler Warning (If you have not read the thing yet, I would strongly suggest you skip this section).

The book is set during a war with Neopagan space wasps known as "Buggers". Because they are a hive body, with the queen being the only sentient creature amongst them, they have a general dissregard for any life forms that appear to belong to a group.

After two crippling wars with these things, Earth has been forced into keeping the effort going, this includes a youth training program to yield as many soldiers as possible. Sadly, many of these children seem to have had little chance to become truly human, thus live in Nietzchean higharchies varying in extremes of brutality and hysterical wimpishness.

Amongst these animals, arrives a very weird kid who seems to have both, his name: Ender Wiggen.

Ender seems to have a knack for miraculously solving problems without really trying. Ender kills and hurts many people, and then cries for hours about it afterward. He has a very disturbed mind and invisions horrific scenes intersperced with disturbing longings for his sister

After having to defend himself from some rather beastly idiots, he rises the ranks and then plays video games. He eventually sends pilots to their deaths after suiciding them into one of the Bugger planet (with the help of a matter displacement divice). He then sneaks into the planet and channels the dead spirits of the wasp-goddes, who reveals to Ender that they meant not to kill anyone because she did not seem to notice that every human being is capable of sentience.

After a whole lot of drama and crying and other snotty shows of emotional masturbation, Ender finds an appropriate place to incubate the queen's egg.

The end.

 [Dave K.]