Endless sorrow

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Endless sorrow is a common mathematical formula used to express the overall feeling a person receives when trying to remember a formula (i.e. volume of a sphere) while taking a test in Geometry With Honors, when they know they shouldn't even be in that class anyways, it's just those guidance counselors, they put anyone with over an 85 average in Honors classes, goddamnit.

The Formula looks something like this:

This formula is used mainly by teachers of mathematics, whose sole joy in life is to cause distress in the life of high school students. The teacher can barely contain its glee as it makes its students memorize countless ridiculous formulas that only 1/25th of them will ever have a purpose for later in life, and that 1/25th is just that one girl who sits in the back in the third row. She's going to be on Jeopardy someday.

Origins of the Formula[edit]

"Endless sorrow" originated in 931 A.B.C.D. as the city of Pythagonhorrea (modern day Chicago) was burning to the ground in the Taoist Revolution, one of the most violent and bloody wars in history. Anyways, a man named Leigh Blachowski got really pissed off and decided suffering should be the one constant in the Universe, so everyone called him Buddha, and he didn't like that either, so he wrote the formula, and then designed the Public Education System, which ruins lives, creates distressed social outcasts, and encourages a general feeling of worthlessness and non-identity. The Public Education System soon became widely accepted as the one true way to get to heaven. No one really realized they were being duped, and I'm sure Leigh Blachowski made a ton of money off of it.

The Public Education System

Hidden Meanings?[edit]

Some experts ponder whether the formula has any special second meaning, or whether it can be applied to something other than making people miserable. These experts are soon informed by other experts that the formula can't have a second meaning because it doesn't make any sense in the first place.

The Crack Factor[edit]

Other experts believe that Leigh Blachowski was a crackhead. When asked for elboration, these experts released a finding of their results, and called it "Elaboration: A Finding Of Our Results". The book remained a bestseller in the category of science fiction murder fantasy for three decades, allowing those experts to live luxurious lives, wearing tuxedos and smoking pipes. No, not crackpipes.