English Premiership

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Quick Summary[edit]

The English Premiership used to be a football league for young English, Scottish, Irish and Welsh players to come together and have fun, have competition and win awards.

But now it's used for multi-millionaire footballers to practice their combat rolls and 'play dead' commands received frequently from their managers and fellow team-mates. Not only that, the Premiership's club owners hold their own competitions between themselves to find out how many foreign combat rollers they can get into the country/club before tighter immigration laws are introduced.

To find out how much a Premiership player is worth you get ten sheets of paper and write numbers from 10 - 100 e.g. "10, 20, 30.." and throw them in a hat, shake it all about and pick your lucky number!

The recent take over of Manchester City by the Abu Dhabi group has sent shivers down the spines of every manager in the world that wants to keep their highly rated star players:

"We'll buy both of the Ronaldos', Carlos Teves, Cesc Fabregas... In fact, I'm going to buy every team in the Premiership apart from Manchester United and form a coalition football team against them. Ha-Ha-Ha!" said Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed of the Abu Dhabi Group devilishly.