English knowledge in Sweden

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English knowledge in Sweden is an important cornerstone in the Swedes selfbelief that the are the most multilingual group of perople in the whole world.

How do they learn?[edit]

Despite it is obvious that children learn languages best as babies, the Swedish government decided that Swedish children should only be able to speak their strang native language until they are nine years old. If you ask a young Swede for the way, they'll just say something like "Hello", "Yes", or even "Doh!", because The Simpsons are shown in swedish being translated by subtitles, which means that young kids do often know what Doh means before they evern get to learn the word "snow". The Swedish teachers of English are arrogant, neglective, intolerant, prejudical, homophobes and along with that their way of speaking are completely incompetent. They require that the kids speak perfect English in five years, otherwise they are banned from all studies in Swedish (!). Therefore, there is a great pressure on the young kids to learn what they honestly think is a shit language.

Swedish lingual arrogancy[edit]

Swedes claim that they speak the best English in the world outside England and America. What they often tend to forget is that English is the main language in some 30+ countries, which obviously means they are a little bit wrong (although you shouldn't mention it, meeting a drukens Swede on a bar in Brighton at summer). Some Swedes think that they speak fluent English, but the problem for them is often that they can't tell the difference between spoon and fork. Swedes learn British English in school, but they are often floating in to American words while speaking.

Speaking[edit]

Swedes are speaking a vey comical version of the English language, not pronouncing the "j:s" , and particulary speaking with too obvious s-sounds. The Swedes also don't know the difference in the pronounciation of eyes and ice.

Swenglish[edit]

The Swedish English-speakers are always including Swedish expressions, and sometimes even Swedish words. For example Swedes say to each other "du är så beatuiful", which means "you're so beautiful". When speaking "real" English they can say like "Take of your clothes and follow me into the VIP room!".