Euclid

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Euclid, contemporary portrait by Michelangelo

Euclid, or sometimes Euklides, was an ancient Greek mathematician who lived from 360 B.C. to year 0, when Jesus relieved him (although which Jesus is a matter of dispute). Euclid is widely considered to be the Dutch uncle of geometry. He is known for his additions to mathematics and pop music culture, and for his role in the film Euclid's Magical Time Journey.

Personal history[edit]

People think Euclid was a person born in 360 B.C, Euclid was thrown into a world crushed beneath the expanding Egypt (or Rome, depending on who you ask). At age 12, he constructed an automatic catapult known to throw ten cows per minute and was assigned to the university in Alexandria, Egypt for king Ptolemy. In his spare time, he was also a musician, performing together with Socrates. Euclid advanced his position and in 100 B.C. he In his later years, Euclid founded linear algebra by making the discovery that two curved vectors form a linear volume. Later still, he became a used chariot salesman. This fact has been taken by many as evidence that he was a complete and utter fraud. His final contribution to the world was the circle, which he drew in the sand just before he was nailed to a wall by a roman soldier with a mobile automatic cow-thrower, his own invention.

Courtney the wise has recently uncovered the truth about Euclid- Euclid is a planet. A planet where Socrates (pronounced so-crates)has tea with Copernicus and they drive Ford Chevys. It is also known that there is water on Euclid, supporting belief there is alcohol there. Euclid is known for it's unique cat breeding farms. The cats produced often have third eyes or six legs. Their most popular car is the Ford Chevy. Do not be fooled by this math speak in Zimbabwe. Pay attention to the four sided jawn jawns of other people. LONG LIVE EUCLID! WHERE Gravity IS AIR!

Oh and did i forget he was a complete pedophile

George W. Bush has recently commissioned a lunar module to explore.

Appearance[edit]

Euclid had a thick beard and he became terribly obese later in life. This has led to the belief now predominent everywhere in southern Switzerland that Santa Claus is actually the resurrected Euclid. The widespread belief in cause and consequence in children before Christmas provides further proof of this.

However, the true Euclid, is a giant blue planet with tons of water and is kind of lopsided and dumpy looking.

Thoughts[edit]

Euclid is most famous for his Axioms or 'things a two year old could work out'. These include (seriously) "It is possible to draw a straight line between two points" and "All right angles have the same angle". This in Ancient Greece marked him out as a genius.

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Euclid is widely considered to be the Dutch uncle of geometry